Author: Doser3

An Impossible Feat?

On By Doser3In Dreaming of Mommyhood - GeneralLeave a comment

Last Friday, I posted a blog discussing the horrible effects of the added sugar in your diet. I promised a blog starting Monday where I would discuss my travels down sugar free lane, and unfortunately I’ve broken the cardinal rule of blogging…NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH!

I could spend this blog offering up excuses, but that’s a waste of space and time. What I should and will do is start blogging about my journey right now, and let me start by saying that the beast is proving a bit hard to tame.

The path to a sugar free world is paved with good intentions, intentions that I find to be blissfully beautiful in theory, but in reality they’re a bit tarnished. I thought I could go into this much like I do a lot of things…just get started. I didn’t plan. I didn’t count on obstacles. And I definitely didn’t count on an agent working against me.

One of the first rules of thumb with any goal that you set is to make a plan on how to achieve that goal. I should have gone grocery shopping, planned out our meals, and prepared myself. I did none of the above. Secondly, I didn’t count on obstacles, of which would be a sick 11 month old who needed my full attention thereby not allowing me to devote any energy on said goal. And finally, I didn’t expect my husband to work against me on this.

I consumed less sugar on Monday and even less than that on Tuesday, but I haven’t made the healthiest of meals. I cut out all sodas, consumed more water, and even added more fiber into my diet. I did all of this, but it’s still not what I was completely hoping for. And I definitely didn’t hope for my husband to bring home a box of knock off Girl Scout cookies in my favorite flavor! Yes, he did that! Way to help your wife!

Like any good person who has a goal and little will-power, I did the best thing I could do. I ate the entire box of cookies in one sitting. That’s right. I figured that since I didn’t exactly start out the correct way, then I should just scratch day one completely off the calendar as a massive failure and remove all temptation from the house, and that’s what I did. I ate all the cookies, all the chocolate, and anything else that had sugar in it, all in an effort to completely remove temptation.

Now, I’m starting over from scratch again. This time I’m developing a plan to remove the sugar and creating new meals. And as I said before, I could use your ideas, recipes, and encouragement. I may have suffered a setback, but I will persevere. Stay tuned as I share my efforts.

Be Gone, You Terrible Beast

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I’ve been awake since 5 this morning. I’m a stay at home mom, who doesn’t have to punch a time clock in the corporate world, so you’re asking me, “why, oh why, are you awake at 5 am?” Well, it’s because of this blog which has started growing profusely and I find myself excited and worried about what I’ll post next. So, this morning I tip-toed downstairs, made my cup of coffee, and high-tailed it straight to my computer where I began to peruse Twitter, my email, and Flipboard for anything of substance I could post this morning. What did I find? Well, quite the interesting article on sugar intake and its effect on your waist line.

photo courtesy of IStock/ThinkStock
photo courtesy of IStock/ThinkStock

I type this as I’m eating my fat free brownie (but not sugar free) and drinking my sweetened coffee. And I’m the type of person who complains about my baby bump (no I’m not pregnant, but I have a pooch I will never be free from), degrades myself for not being able to slim my hips back down to my pre-pregnancy form, and just all around feels bad about my physical appearance. And yet, I’m eating sugar.

In this article I read from Women’s Health Magazine, it throws out some statistics about sugar intake, along with the effects, and some ways to possibly beat down this terrible sugar beast! So, here are a couple of statistical facts you may or may not have been aware of.

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/nutrition/sugar-facts?adbid=533080679865536512&adbpl=tw&adbpr=25087685&cid=socFO_20141114_35576867

The American Heart Association suggests that a woman should intake no more than 25 grams of a sugar a day, but that the average American takes in 92 grams per day! What!?!?!? 25 grams seems like a lot to me, so I’m sure that I’m staying within those boundaries, but let me check just in case. I bake my own bread, so that lowers the amount of sugar, but not down as low as I need. I do love my pastas and while I choose the hidden veggie pastas by Muellers, they still contain 32 grams in one box! Are you kidding me? And that doesn’t count the processed pasta sauces I buy in the can for convenience. And like I said when I started this post, there’s also the multiple cups of coffee which I sweeten with Splenda and French Vanilla creamer, or the occasional mocha latte I treat myself to at Starbucks. On the plus side, I don’t consume sodas or energy drinks.

I suppose; however, the most interesting part of this article is that I can indeed beat down this dreaded beast and actually “train” my brain to not crave sugar. According to the U.S. National Institute on Drug Abuse, sugar can affect the brain much the same way as cocaine and alcohol. It is seen as an addiction, and like with most addictions you can find a way to not crave it. How do you train your brain to not crave the sugary foods, you ask.

Stop the cravings before they hit is the key. You need to maintain your hunger level to a near minimal existence by keeping your belly full of proteins and fibers and free of the refined carbs we all seem to love. Eat good tasting foods that digest more slowly and keep that steady stream of healthy foods coming. Sounds simple enough, right, but can it truly be done? So in an effort to try out this theory of preventing my brain from going gaga for the bad stuff and trimming down those final few inches, I’m going to blog about my progress. And as with anything, I’m going to go out with a bang and in a blaze of glory. This weekend I will allow myself one final swan song in the sugar treats ballet, before going strong on Monday.

Follow my progress and help keep me accountable. I’d love suggestions on foods, things I can make for my family, but things that also won’t break the bank. We’re operating off of one salary in this household, so we don’t have the luxury of spending hundreds of dollars a week on groceries. Our monthly budget is $300. Share ways that have helped you.

And with that, let me enjoy my brownie and coffee breakfast!

Enjoying my three splenda, two French vanilla coffee.
Enjoying my three splenda, two French vanilla coffee.
Fat free brownie. Yum!
Fat free brownie. Yum!

A Father Sings to His Dying 4 Day Old Son

On By Doser3In Dreaming of Mommyhood - GeneralLeave a comment

I wanted to share this with all of you out there. This is a very emotional story and video to watch.

http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/27378749/father-serenades-dying-son-in-nicu-days-after-wife-dies

“Fall”ing in Love 2014

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Last week, I took the boys to Falls Park in Greenville for a little photo shoot. As you all read, it didn’t exactly turn out as expected, but as promised here are the photos of my two little bundles of “joy”.

My two little loves.
My two little loves.

My second little GQ model.
My second little GQ model.
Catching a little sun on the rocks.
Catching a little sun on the rocks.
Eager to join his big brother.
Eager to join his big brother.
A walk across the footbridge at the Wyche Pavillion.
A walk across the footbridge at the Wyche Pavillion.
Taking a stroll with the ducks.
Taking a stroll with the ducks.
This child loves the water.
This child loves the water.
I love candid shots when he's caught off guard.
I love candid shots when he’s caught off guard.

A Love Letter to My Husband

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My Darling Husband,

Strange I know, that I begin most every letter I’ve written to you with the words “darling husband”, when I don’t necessarily use those words when talking to you. I may not say them, but I do consider you the most darling of husbands, plus every romantic letter usually starts with some sort of adoration. It sets the mood.

It’s been almost nine years since you asked me to be your wife. Nine years. That’s quite a span of time. At first, I was nervous as to what our futures would hold. Would we be the wild and crazy couple with whom all of our friends would wish to socialize? Would we become world travelers? What about our family? Perhaps we would start one? Well, as you’re quite well aware, starting a family wasn’t my priority. I kicked and fought you the entire way, well almost, until God smacked me in the head and suggested I straighten up my act.

Since marrying you, my life has been one adventure after another. We’ve travelled, we’ve fought, we’ve loved each other and those around us. We’ve both become Christians and we’ve become parents to two of the most delightfully strong willed, intelligent, and happy little boys this world has ever seen. I attribute their intelligence solely to you, but unfortunately they’ve developed my knack for thumbing their nose at the proper way of doing things, instead choosing to trod through life with their own sense of free will. They’re good boys, though, with wonderful hearts and loving arms, and for that I thank you.

I suppose it was Wednesday, as we were driving you to work, that helped to further strengthen my love for you (as if I needed another reason). You see, I didn’t realize that when you asked that I purchase two back issues of Sports Illustrated, the one with Derek Jeter’s exit interview, that you intended to give one to a total stranger. Had you have told me, I may have tried to talk you out of it. Knowing now, who that stranger is, I’m glad you did it.

I found it odd when you threw you hand up at this old man clad in all sorts of Yankees paraphernalia as he stood on his front porch and watched the rush hour traffic passing by. “Hey, Nicky!” you yelled and I was astonished. Did you know his name or was that something you made up or did you hear it from someone else? When you explained to me how you see this man every morning, sitting on his front porch with his Yankees jacket on, I was shocked that you paid so much attention to him. How many times have I selfishly asked you to pay attention to me, when all you do is give me the love and attention any woman could ever want or need? Suddenly I was ashamed of myself.

My heart exploded for you, though as you told me how you haven’t seen Nicky in a while. How he used to ride his bike all the time and then for two weeks he wasn’t around and you were worried for him. You were worried for him! How beautifully unselfish of you! So, you explained to me you finally saw him again and decided to take him a magazine, the Sports Illustrated. I never knew you had stopped by on Monday morning on your way to work. As you told me of how you walked up onto his porch, I pictured the happiness on this gentleman’s face, a happiness that a total stranger would stop and bring him something, would want to sit down and talk with him. Then I pictured you, my husband, doing all of this and suddenly it wasn’t a surprise, because this is you. I suppose what surprised me this most is that you waited two days to tell me what you’d done! You never shouted it loud, asking for the world to see your act. Your humility astounds me. It is who you are and for that I fall more in love with you everyday.

I’m so grateful that the Lord had you choose me, or maybe it was me choosing you. I’m so blessed that He decided that you would be the father of my children, you, the man with a heart bigger than his chest. How fortunate the boys are to have a father like you setting examples such as this. I couldn’t imagine someone better for my children. You are our hero, our best friend, our savior, our rock, and the greatest man we’ll ever know.

As I close this letter, my darling husband, I wish my words could offer you more along the ways of love. My wish is that my words fill every crevice within your heart and soul with love. You are loved, you are admired, and I am the wealthiest woman alive to have you as my husband. No one could ever come close.

All my undying love!

Happy Veterans Day

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My father was drafted into the United States Army in 1970. He was a private first class stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, formerly known as Fort Lewis in Washington State My father did not serve in the Vietnam War, but during the time period of the conflict. He remained stateside while so many of his brothers fought, some losing their lives, in the horrible war. He doesn’t talk much about that time, like most veterans, but he did tell me that he rarely left base.

When you leave the base, you are required to dress in your U.S. Army uniform. During that time period, millions of Americans projected their disgust at our involvement in the war onto the troops instead of the government who was responsible for putting us in Vietnam. Service members were verbally and physically assaulted and disrespected. My dad told me the one time he chose to leave the base, while wearing his uniform, he was pelleted with tomatoes. From that point forward, he never left the base.

What a shame that my father, although being drafted, chose to maintain a level of respect and dignity for the role thrust upon him. He chose to hold himself to a higher standard and to serve his country, while so many others burned their draft cards and spit on him. I admire my dad for his sacrifice for our country and I’m grateful he didn’t see a minute of the horrors of war. I may not be here today had he fought in Vietnam.

On this Veterans Day, my oldest has begun to ask me questions. He was taught about Veterans Day while in school today. When I picked him up, he asked me questions about it. I told him who the day was for, including his Pop.

“Pop, was in the army?” he asked.

“Yes, he was. Mimi still has his uniform. Maybe you can see it one day,” I replied.

“Maybe I can be in the army like Pop,” he said.

“Maybe,” I answered.

My husband and I have thought about if the day should come when one or both of our boys tell us they want to serve their country in the armed forces. How would we react? What would we say? I don’t know. I’d like to say that I would be happy, because it would be what makes them happy, but I don’t know if that would be truthful. I would be proud of them, just like I’ll be proud of them regardless of the life they choose for themselves. I will admire them for making a sacrifice I could have made in my life, but was too selfish to do. And I will love them for their courage and valor.

On this day, let’s take the opportunity to thank a veteran, to put ourselves in their shoes, even if only for a moment. Think about their sacrifices and those of their families when you sit down and read this blog. You and I have a luxury and for that we should be grateful to our veterans.

There’s an organization I’m a huge fan and supporter of. It’s called the Wounded Warrior Project. Please take this day, if no other, to visit the website and make a donation to help one of our many current veterans coming home. And if you see a veteran at any point, take the time to shake their hand and thank them for their service.

http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org

Virtual Toy Drive

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The Greenville Health System’s Children’s Hospital in Greenville, SC is a wonderfully astounding facility. It is a Board Certified physicians care for more than 330,000 infants, children, and adolescents each year. New primary care offices have been opened up throughout the upstate to help the thousands of children who face some of the toughest of illnesses.

For years, our local NBC affiliate, WYFF, has sponsored the Children’s Hospital’s Virtual Toy Drive which allows for you to go to the website and buy a toy for a child. You can do this anonymously, as my husband and I choose to do, or you may attach your name along with a warm Christmas greeting and blessings. Most everyone within the Upstate of South Carolina is aware of this toy drive, but for those of you who are new to the area or new to blog, I wanted to let you know just a bit more about it and encourage you to help.

I’ve written blogs about the heartbreaking pains of watching a child suffer through an illness. As a parent, you’re riddled with emotions, but think about those children who are forced to overcome these adversities. So many children will spend their Christmases in hospitals around the country instead of nestled snug in their beds at home. For many of them, the hospital beds have become their homes and they hold their heads high and continue to trod through life. Regardless as to how these children cope or where they may do it, you and I have a responsibility to provide for those who are less fortunate.

Over the course of the holiday season, you’ll read blogs from me encouraging you to donate. Take a look at your children and be thankful for their health, their happiness, and their life. Step back and reevaluate those gifts you plan to purchase for your child(ren) and consider paring it down and purchasing a gift for a child in need. I’m posting a link to the Virtual Toy Drive in this blog, but also to my blog roll at the right of the screen.

Please, please consider purchasing a gift for a child less fortunate than your own. Help bring back the Christmas spirit not just for those children, but for society as well. And consider donating your time even if it’s only for one day.

http://www.ghschildrens.org/virtual-toy-drive.php

Take a Look Through My Lens

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Three years ago when Davey was about 9 months old, my husband and I bought a new camera. This isn’t just your easy, point and shoot camera. This is a Nikon 5100 complete with interchangeable lenses, filters, and manual operation. It’s not your high end camera, but it’s a little bit more advanced that the pocket sized digital cameras.

I’ve always had a fascination with photography. I’m mesmerized by it, by the things that the lens sees, things that perhaps the human eye doesn’t. Yeah, I know it’s all basically the same thing, but yet there are things captured on film that may never register with the naked eye. I love how each picture tells a story, the ones that are black and white to the ones of the squirrel sitting on the ground nibbling at an acorn. I’m intrigued by how a camera can pick up little nuances in a person’s face, moments that are so fleeting, that you may not have caught them just in passing. I adore the artistic side of photography and I find myself jealous of those who have this artistic ability that I can’t seem to master.

I’ve read books upon books, blogs upon blogs. I’ve taken classes, bought software and yet I’m still not as good as I was hoping to be. According to a class I took a couple of years ago, you really need to have a mathematic mind in order to take good pictures. I don’t have that, so I guess I’m screwed. I am; however, still eager to capture the growing moments in my boys’ lives. I still have this desire to try to take the beautiful pictures, the ones that could possibly be the winning picture in an amateur photo contest. I know I have this ability in me somewhere deep down, but unfortunately my boys don’t care to help me expand upon this.

Today was a beautiful fall day in the South. The temperature hovered around 55 degrees, with a bright sunlight that seemed to cast shadows on the ground and brighten up the beautifully changing leaves. Everyone was out today especially at our Falls Park in Greenville, SC. Before I go much further, let me take a moment to offer a quick plug for one of Greenville’s greatest attractions.

Falls Park is on the Reedy River. It is located between Main Street and a section once known as Camperdown Way. Years ago, the City tore down the bridge that was known as Campderdown Way to create a park that would highlight Greenville’s central attraction…The Reedy River. A pedestrian suspension bridge was built over the Reedy Falls, named the Liberty Bridge, which provides a wonderfully majestic view of the falls and the river. A park was created around the bridge, with fountains, open play areas, swings, and an outdoor amphitheater. A restaurant was also opened at the entrance of the park with sweeping views of the Reedy River. If you ever come to Greenville, please make sure to take a moment and visit this part of our city.

So, back to my autumn day at Falls Park. I thought it would be the perfect day to take some pictures of the boys. I had grand visions of well behaved children, holding hands as they walked across the bridge, stopping occasionally to look over and see the falls. What wonderful photo opportunities I would have! I’m sorry, but did I fall and smack my head at some point? What ever gave me the idea that I could perform a photo shoot with my boys? One of which acts like the Spawn of Satan and the other one who seems to be an aardvark, inhaling everything he comes across.

Yes, my boys…the bull in the china shop, otherwise known as Davey, and my impetuous taste tester who puts EVERYTHING in his mouth, otherwise known as Henry. Why would I have ever thought this was a good idea?

When Davey is outside he acts like a caged animal. Once the doors are open he runs like he’s been caged his entire life. Henry wants to keep up with him until he sees that bright leaf that has caught his attention and then he wants to chew on it, because apparently that’s his only sense…taste!

I spent an hour and a half yelling at Davey to slow down, stop running, look where you’re going, don’t throw rocks at the ducks, get away from that pigeon, don’t climb on the rocks, get away from that water, don’t jump in that puddle, until it finally culminated with him splashing around in the water fountains that are dyed purple for Alzheimer’s awareness. Yes! His hands are purple, almost the color of the toilets on the planes! He looks like he’s been shoving his hands into an airplane toilet!

Now, if I were a photographer and not a mom, I would have thought this cute and just snapped away with my camera, digitally marking all of this excitement, but I’m not a photographer, I’m a mom. I am a mom who just bought her boys matching outfits to wear for said photo shoot. A mom who is so exasperated with the oldest for ruining his brand new clothes that I almost felt like leaving him in the park!

He’s a strong-willed child, people say. He’s just a little boy, they remind me. He’s only three, they implore. Me? I just say he’s a little demon.

How did my photo shoot turn out, you ask? Horribly. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m depressed, because I’ll see all these other pictures on Facebook of my friend’s children who look so picture perfect. And I’ll think to myself, why do I bother? Then tomorrow will be here and I’ll have another “brilliant” idea to document the boys’ lives, and we’ll start this whole insidious cycle again. I’m a glutton, what can I say?

Once I take the time to calm down and actually review the pictures I’ve taken, you’ll find them on my Facebook page, Dreaming of Mommyhood.

Passion

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A lot of people ask me why I blog. What is my purpose? What do I get out of it? I’ve thought about it a lot over the 5 + years I’ve been a blogger. I’ve blogged about anything and everything. I’ve blogged for Skirt! a women’s only publication. I’ve blogged for Portrait, an online entertainment magazine. I’ve blogged for myself in two forms…first for a television show known as Vampire Diaries, which I was once addicted to, and then finally for Dreaming of Mommyhood, what you’re reading now.

The one central thing I’ve come up with is that I blog because I like it. No, scratch that. I blog because I love it. I blog because I love the written word. I blog because it’s the only way I can fulfill my dream of being a writer. I suppose I could put myself out there and try to get one of the five partial and completed novels I’ve written published, but I’m terrified of being laughed at or worse, people thinking I’m unintelligent. So, I blog instead because writing is one of my passions.

The reason I bring this up and have entitled today’s post “Passion” is because I’m reading a book co-written by a fellow mom blogger. It’s called “The Digital Mom Handbook”. It’s written by two moms, who like myself were immersed in Corporate America, fulfilling dreams of big careers, illustrious travels, and money. These two moms, after having babies, decided that Corporate America wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, at least not for them. Sacrificing their children’s first moments and memories wasn’t worth the money they would make. Of course, like me, they found themselves starved for anything of intelligent substance, anything that was to keep their brain cells active and fully functioning, so they began blogging. As most of us stay at home moms know, while life may never be mundane it can at times zap you of your intelligence.

I’ve just started reading the book and the first thing these two moms discuss is finding your passion, as clichéd as that may sound. Why do you blog? For them it was because one loved fashion and the other loved writing product reviews. I suppose my passion may be a bit too broad…writing, but it is a passion all the same. I don’t care what I’m writing about, as long as I’m writing. Have I turned that into some extra benjamins in my back pocket? Nope. Would I like to? Sure.

As I started mulling over my passion, I pulled out the five different manuscripts I’ve written, one of which is 640 pages (yes I sat down and wrote a 640 page novel). I’ve had them hibernating away in an old cedar chest that keeps all things valuable to my heart. I don’t know what I’m going to do with them, other than just look at them occasionally and think, “why don’t I submit these to someone?” I have them sitting on the floor alongside my desk in the office right now as I write this. There’s my passion, or part of it.

So, I know why I blog and I know my passion for it, but what I’d really like to know is, why do you all read my blog?

I’ll leave you with this picture, which shows a sampling of my writing, all 2000+ pages of it.

These are my works.
These are my works.

Election Night 2014

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Every two years, on the first Tuesday of November, my day goes a little something like this…

Go vote, work, eat dinner, and then veg out in front of the television watching election results. I first started doing this in 2000 when I was a Young Republican at Clemson University and working the George W. Bush campaign for President. It was my first official “work” to get someone elected to President and it helped to cement my love/hate relationship with politics.

I can still recall that election night 14 years ago. There was a group of us hanging out at one of our apartments, drinking beer, eating pizza, and discussing the plight of not just the U.S. but also the world. Oh, it was a great time…discussing politics with some of my fellow voters. Back then, I could get pretty passionate about it and some discussions would lead to arguments especially when the occasional Democrat who happened to be the girlfriend of one of my fellow Young Republicans would show up.

That night, we sat up into the wee hours of Wednesday morning as Florida was being tossed back and forth. It was a horrible feeling and I had started regretting all that pizza I ate, as the anxiety in my stomach volleyed back and forth. Finally, it was called that Bush had won and we all celebrated briefly before going to sleep. Then the next morning happened…there was no winner. Florida had Chaddgate commencing. I watched as elderly people tried to figure out if that was a hanging chadd, or if that was just a partial prick. Oh the misery of it all.

Last night, I did much the same. I kept the television on CNN all afternoon while I worked and my boys napped. I listened to the discussions back and forth about what would happen if the Republicans gained control of the Senate or if the Democrats could stave off a trouncing. What would the President do? What message would it send? I cooked dinner as my husband voted before coming home. I turned the news off long enough to allow us to have our family dinner (rule in our house…no t.v. while eating dinner). And as my husband did the dishes and the boys played together, I opened a bottle of wine, sat down on the couch and started watching election results…MY PERFECT EVENING (really it was perfect just having my husband do dishes and my boys playing together).

Occasionally, Davey would climb into my lap and want to turn the television to something else. I did my best to explain to my 3 year old the importance of watching the results. It went down about as well as the debate between Al Gore and George W. Bush when Al Gore started discussing his “lock box”. That was entertaining!

Two more years, Henry will be Davey’s age now and Davey will be 5. Hopefully, by that point I will have instilled some of the importance of the election day within Davey. I’m not naïve enough to believe that he’ll sit alongside me watching the results happily, but I am hoping for discussion, questions, and hopefully a small amount of passion for it like his mommy.

My t-shirt from college.
My t-shirt from college.