My Misguided Tears

It was a hard morning, one of the hardest I’ve gone through in quite some time. At first, I thought about blaming the tears on my hormones, but quickly realized that I would be crying regardless. My husband and I spent our Memorial Day morning, taking down a crib and putting up a toddler bed in it’s place.

I knew the day would be coming and I’d heeded the warnings of so many other moms out there who suggested I wait until the absolute last minute to take him out of his crib. Well, with the new baby scheduled to arrive in approximately seven months, and my mother in law in town for the week, I thought now would be a good opportunity to convert Davey. I’ve heard stories that it could take months for him to get used to the new bed, so why not do it now?

Once the toddler bed was in place, the emotions began to wash over me. He’s not my little baby anymore. I mean figuratively, he’ll always be my little baby, but the thought of no longer being able to walk into his room and seeing his little face above the rails, with his arms reaching out to me and saying, “hi, mama”, just made me start blubbering. My baby was growing up and while I’ve watched it and known it every day, for some reason today was the day for reality to hit me like a ton of bricks. I actually felt faint and even slightly sick at my stomach. Where did the days go? The seconds have turned into minutes, minutes into days, and before I’ve known it my little baby is now a little boy.

We brought him upstairs and the tears began to flow even harder. Davey immediately ran and took a flying leap onto his bed. He tossed around and laughed a bit, climbed back down, grabbed a couple of books, climbed back in and then with his head on his pillow and one leg crossed over the other, he began reading one of his books. How sweet!

And then a few hours later, the true and actual reality of the repercussions of my actions really hit. Why oh why was I ever crying about my sadness of him being all grown up? What I should be crying about was the fact that I may no longer be able to take advantage of long afternoon naps. That’s right, folks, we spent three hours yesterday afternoon playing the infamous game of “Keep the Baby in Bed”. Guess who won? Yep! Davey did. So, obviously, my tears were misguided. I’m convinced that subconsciously the tears were falling because I knew that blissful afternoons of getting things accomplished while Davey slept were quickly becoming limited.

Only time will tell what becomes of this story.

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Our Newest Version

Here's Butterbean 2.0
Here’s Butterbean 2.0

A month is quite a while to go especially if you’re a writer and trying to maintain an active audience with a blog. Essentially, I’ve broken one of the cardinal rules of blogging, but in my defense I’ve literally felt like I’ve been on my death bed. You see, for those of you who don’t know yet, my husband and I are expecting Version 2.0 of the Doser clan to make an appearance on December 20th.

Was this something we were working towards? Yep. Was I over the moon excited? Yes and no. My husband was super excited, but me? Well, let’s just say my hormones have kicked into high gear and for the first week after I found out I was pregnant, my immense paranoia and fears started weighing down on me.

Now that I’m moving into my ninth week (some say this is a bit too soon to share the news, but I’ve never been great at keeping secrets; however, I am better than my husband), a lot of fears and worries are now being beaten into submission by an intense sense of nausea mixed with the arrival of migraines, something I didn’t experience quite so soon with Davey.

So, how is this one different so far? It’s been a bit harder and I’ve actually found that all it took to lose those last 10 pounds I gained with Davey, was to just become pregnant. Yep. I’ve managed to lose some weight, which is a complete reversal of the days of Davey. With that little porker, I immediately started gaining weight.

My hormones have sky rocketed, and I’m incessantly sobbing at even the slightest thing. I am back to my “woe is me” attitude of asking my husband if he hates me because I’m not carrying as much of the load. I’m also finding that it’s a lot more exhausting this time around, but that’s probably because I’m a stay-at-home mom, who has a non-stop job of caring for a near 20 month old. When I was pregnant with Davey, all I had to do was leave work early, come home and take a nap. There were no responsibilities and no one to take care of except little ole me. Not the case this time.

And just to kinda gross some of you out, although if you’ve been pregnant before, it’s highly unlikely anything will gross you out, I do not have to take stool softeners this time around. Gasp! How embarrassing to discuss such things, you say! Yeah, well, if you’ve been following this blog since it’s inception over two years ago, you likely read how I suffered from the inability to actually do a number two for nearly a week! Not so this time, as a matter of fact, I have more movements in a day than I normally have in a week. I suppose that could contribute to the weight loss.

Last week was my first doctor’s appointment and we were able to get an ultrasound of Butterbean 2.0 (Davey was 1.0 if you recall), and she looks healthy and has a heartbeat of 176, which I understand to be strong. And, yeah, you read that pronoun correctly, I did say “she” and that’s because I have a firm feeling that this little bundle of joy is going to be my payback for all the hell I put my parents through.

So, all I can say is stay tuned, life is about to get a lot more interesting on the Doser Range. New adventures abound and this time I have Davey along for the ride. Can’t wait to see what’s in store over the next few months.