I heard a news report this morning about the emotional state of Americans in 2011. A survey found that more than 70% of Americans felt that 2011 was the most depressing year, emotionally, for them. How sad it is that so many people feel this way and for what is possibly the first time in my life, I’m in the minority on a poll. I am a part of the 30% that found 2011 to be the most promising, the most uplifting, and the most joyful year on record, at least for my record.
I spent 3/4 of 2011 pregnant, riding the wave of emotions, discomfort, pain, and weight gain that accompanies such a blessing. 2011 found me starting this blog, excitedly writing to all of you about my adventures in first time mommyhood. 2011 found me growing closer to my husband, seeing him in a new light, a way I never thought possible. I’ve loved the man for a very long time, but it wasn’t until I became pregnant that I saw him as my savior, my soul mate, and as cheesy as it may sound or read, my knight in shining armor.
2011 found me glowing with anticipation at each kick I felt or hiccup inside of me that signalled that my husband and I had indeed created another life, a true gift. I fell asleep at night feeling my son’s nudges and movements.
In 2011, I heard the most magical thing in the world, something that I never thought could bring me to such an emotional state as to genuinely cry with happiness. I experienced my first ever ultrasound and heard the wondrous beating of a heart that represented my husband and me, our love joined together.
In 2011, my mother became a different person, once she warmed up to the idea of becoming a grandmother. She released a lot of her old hatred and demons from my brother’s death. Her heart slowly melted and for the first time in almost 5 years, her heart has felt mended.
2011 saw the birth of my son, a magnificent event that far exceeds anything I could ever imagine in my life. When I heard his cries and then saw his face, I never thought it was possible to feel so overwhelmed with love for something else that you feel like you could just break.
2011 brought the first genuine happiness I’ve had since my brother died. There was a peace that rolled through my parents, husband and me. For the first time in a really long time, I’ve felt whole. I’ve felt fulfilled. I’ve felt like my life had some meaning and some purpose to it. And for the first time in my life, I’ve been more than happy to NOT be the center of attention and not have everything revolve around me.
In 2011, I experienced my first Christmas as a mother. We started new traditions and held strong to the old, but with a new little member to the family, a member that has brought all families closer together. It’s amazing what the birth of a child can do.
So, I have my doubts that 2011 could be topped in my book, and I’m truly sorry for all of you who felt cheated in 2011. I can only imagine what 2012 will hold for all of us. I can’t wait for a new year of firsts with my baby boy and who knows maybe you’ll be reading about the expectancy of a baby brother or sister for Davey before the end of 2012.
Thank you, all of you, for reading my blog, for following my adventures, and for encouraging me along the way. I hope you all have a wonderful New Year and a prosperous 2012.