During yesterday’s “dry run” to becoming a stay-at-home mother, I determined something about my child….HE’S SMARTER THAN I THOUGHT!
For the most part, we were able to follow the schedule I set forth, with the exception of taking longer naps. My son is NOT a fan of naps. While you and I may see them as rewards, he sees them as punishments.
Something else I determined from yesterday’s experiment that seems to go hand-in-hand with Davey’s refusal to nap graciously, is the fact that I believe daycare holds him a lot more than I had originally thought.
So, here’s a recap of yesterday’s events:
We played and we napped (though very little). We ate regularly and we cried more than regularly especially on the occasions that I decided to NOT hold him. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without my son wailing and here’s what’s worse….he’s developed a new cry and this is what makes me think he’s WAY smarter than I give him credit for.
Davey’s cries have now developed to what used to sound like the sputtering of an old tractor as it attempted to start in cold weather, to a throaty wail coupled with legitimate tears that seems to rip at my heart. I literally felt sick to my stomach yesterday when I would put him down and he would start sobbing. Rampant thoughts of “he thinks I hate him” or “poor baby is just afraid” ran through my head. Of course, when I would pick him up, immediate silence!
I told my husband last night that I think Davey has purposely developed a new cry because he WANTS to hurt me (not really). My husband laughed and said, “well he is a product of you and me, so there is some level of manipulation involved.” GASP! I can’t believe my husband said I was manipulative!
So, yesterday I did something that a lot of mothers will frown on…I let my son cry it out a couple of times. At first I thought I was harming him, but in the end I don’t really think so. Child psychologists and pediatricians may disagree, but to each his own. Right? Every child is different and every approach to caring for the child is different as well.
I’ve become pretty determined with my resolve today. I’m going to outlast him. I refuse to let him think he has the upper hand. Today I’m going to toughen up where my son is concerned.
On a different note, I did create a little space for him in the office so that he’s able to work while mommy works.