A Relaxed Frame of Mind

12 weeks on Friday. That’s Friday of THIS week, I should clarify. 12 weeks. Yep, that’s right, and what have I done to prepare for this latest addition? Nothing really.

I suppose it’s that I have the whole “been there, done that” mentality, but I’m not exactly going overboard with baby preparation. I’ve questioned whether this means I’m excited or not, and quickly decided to push that thought into the Never Never Land of Ridiculous Thoughts.

This past weekend, I reflected on my current pregnancy and compared it to my first one. I went back and read some of the blogs I wrote while expecting Davey, and wow what a narcissitic freak I was! Thank goodness that’s pretty much gone away. By this point in my first pregnancy, I was already mid-ways complete with Davey’s bedroom and I didn’t even know if he was going to be a boy. I decided to start out gender neutral and then to add more gender specific items once we found out the sex. With this baby, I’m pretty much just going to wait until AFTER I find out the sex. What’s the point of working on a nursery right now?

Maybe it’s that I’m just so much busier with Davey and being a stay-at-home mom, or maybe it’s because I’ve already rode this roller coaster or one similar to it, so it’s somewhat lost it’s luster. I’m finding that I don’t fret the little things, even though I’ve felt a LOT worse during this pregnancy. With my first pregnancy, if I felt bad, I was worried. Thoughts ran through my head about something being wrong with me or the baby. With this pregnancy, my feeling bad just means that everything is progressing and hopefully the baby is growing.

Yesterday, I went back to the doctor for a check-up. As we determined in the first pregnancy, my uterus is a bit, well, let’s say odd. The doctors can’t hear the baby’s heartbeat right now without doing an ultrasound. When I was pregnant with Davey, I nearly had a panic attack. I recall how sick I felt and how tears were rolling down my cheeks when the doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. With this one, we had the same issue. The doctor (a different one from my last pregnancy) told me not to worry. I placed both hands behind my head and sat back and told him I wasn’t worried. We’d had this same issue before. Of course, we did the ultrasound and the baby was fine.

I don’t know if this is a normal state of mind for women who’ve had multiple babies, but I find it refreshing for me, especially since I’m a worrier by nature.

Let’s hope I can continue to think this way throughout the pregnancy.

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