Expecting Too Much

I’m pretty competitive by nature.   I see someone doing something better than me and it pushes me harder.   I want to not only do better than myself, to beat my own previous record, but to also beat other people who I see as my equal.  I want to one up everyone.

At times I wonder if this mentality could possibly impact my son.   I’m constantly perusing the web to find out where my son is in regards to the standard milestones.  

Davey will be 20 weeks old on Wednesday, and he’s already rolled over for the first time three weeks ago, sat up on his own two weeks ago, and has managed to hold onto the sides of the table and steady himself as he stands just last week.   My doctors tell me I have an overachiever on my hands and I can’t help but say I’m thrilled.   This past weekend he grabbed toys off of shelves and even managed to grip the lip of my husband’s glass of water and tip it over on the table immediately following that with a devious laugh (although, I”m unsure if he knows it was devious.)

The doctors tell me he’s off the grid on his height, but is average on his weight and I find myself to be a bit bummed out by that.   I want him to be bigger than the other babies born around the same time as him.  This leads me to want to feed him all the time and plump him up, but am I taking it too far?

I want to encourage him to walk as quickly as possible.   I’m trying to get him to talk faster than other babies and my plan is (was) to have him reading by the time he’s 2.   Again, am I taking things to the extreme?   Is my competitive nature ruining my child or is it all healthy?  

I want Davey to be way smarter than I am.  I’m pretty mediocre, my husband’s pretty smart.   Perhaps if we combine the two together we’ll have a little genius on our hands.   Should I just let him be a baby?   Is it wrong to want more for my child than what I had? 

This afternoon I started working on a curriculum for Davey starting next week, my first week as a stay at home mom.   I want to teach him sign language.  I want to learn Spanish so that I can teach him a foreign language.   I want to teach him words and letters, colors and sounds.   I want to start exercising his brain so much, but perhaps I’m going into overload.  

Is this standard mother behavior or am I abnormal?


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