T-minus 7 days and counting.
Have you ever had the feeling that you’re running with all your might and you see that finish line so you pump even harder knowing that the end of your long arduous journey is here? But with each step, as your foot hits the pavement and you become closer and closer to the finish line, it stays the same size as it was a few steps back. You pump harder and harder, propelling yourself to the finish, but with each step the finish line seems to be taking that same step away from you. It’s so frustrating and it’s almost like you’re expending all of your energy for nothing. Well, that’s exactly how I feel in these waning days of my pregnancy.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know I’m near. Victory is so close I can almost feel it, but that light keeps getting further and further away and I can’t help but wonder….Am I ever going to give birth to this child????
It’s an exaggeration, but I feel like I’ve been pregnant my entire life, when in all actuality I’ve only been pregnant for 2.3% of my life. That seems odd and not quite right.
The final days have become the worst. I went to the doctor last week, full of excitement and anticipation…my cervix was going to be checked and I just knew that I was at least 1 cm dilated. Unfortunately, when the doctor checked me out, I wasn’t even so much as a tenth of a cm dilated. Yeah, that’s right, my cervix was still closed tight and my son was just enjoying himself in the womb. I actually had a vision of him sitting all balled up and listening to the doctor tell me the dreaded news and then my son laughed at me, almost as if being spiteful.
My level of discomfort over these last few days has meant lack of sleep for me and a severe emotional state that has bordered on needing quaaludes. My poor co-workers feel like they are walking on eggshells around me, unsure if their simple “Good morning” will set me off into a crying spree that I can’t stop. It was so bad that I was actually sent home at 930 on Friday morning. What a disgrace!
This past weekend, I’ve tried my best to develop some patience. After all, Davey isn’t coming until he’s good and ready and apparently he’s just not ready. The problem is that he’s exhausting me. I can’t find a comfortable way to sleep, nor is there any way comfortable to sit. For crying out loud, my belly is so huge now, I feel like I’m stretching out to reach this keyboard!
I’m hoping that by this time next week, I’ll be posting a blog with our wonderful news, that our beautiful baby boy is home. I’m not holding my breath and I’m doing my best to not get too frustrated each morning that I wake up and he’s not here. Let’s see how well I hold out this week.