I decided to take some time and reflect. It concerns me that I have perhaps scared off a few women from becoming mothers. I have a tendency to write more about the bad things that have occurred during my pregnancy as opposed to giving the full picture and the true beauty of it all. For that, I’m extremely disappointed in myself.
My writing is usually driven by emotions and in most cases, it’s the sad emotions that become more prevalent. Tonight I want to set the record straight about being pregnant, and while it may not always be a bed of roses, the experience is beautiful, magical, and capitvating. In spite of every little ailment, discomfort, and painful twist and turn through the day, I wouldn’t trade this time in for all the money in the world.
One of the things I’ve noticed about myself, is the fact that I not so discreetly steal glances of my profile in mirrors, picture frames, and doors as I’m walking by. There is a hallway full of pictures hanging in my office as you walk towards the restroom. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t look at my growing belly from the side, half the time getting busted in the act. I’m not embarrassed and I’m not sorry. And while I may have felt unattractive at the onset of pregnancy, the further along I have progressed, the more gorgeous I feel. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I am someone’s protector or that there is someone who’s life is dependent on mine that makes me feel so beautiful. Either way, I’m relishing the growing belly.
As the days are progressing, Davey is becoming more and more active within my belly. There are days when I feel like he’s performing a circus act of gymnastics in my womb. My rib cage; however, is feeling a bit of pain from that as I’m convinced he has bruised me already. But in the end, there’s something overly magical about feeling his movements. My husband asked me this weekend how it felt when Davey kicked or punched me. He asked me if it hurt, and truthfully while there may be some level of discomfort, my son hasn’t hurt me. As a matter of fact, while I’m anxious to hold him in my arms, I’m also sad to think about how I won’t wake up to his gentle nudges soon.
And the even greater thing about being pregnant is how it looks on my husband. He is my protector, my guardian, and the greatest love I could ever have. My pregnancy has brought about a softer yet harder side of my husband. He’s a gentle manly man, if that makes sense and isn’t a contradiction. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I literally get a lump in my throat and my heart sighs when my husband reads to Davey or when he’s leaving for work in the morning, he kisses my belly and tells his son how much he loves him. If I could write a love story as beautiful as mine and my husband’s right now, it would be a best seller.
So, for those of you who have perhaps become intimidated by some of my writings, please understand there is nothing more beautiful and more awe-inspiring than becoming a mother. I’m torn right now, as I’m only 11 weeks away from giving birth, and while I’m excited and counting down to the day when Davey is welcomed into this world, I’m also heart broken over some of the experiences that will become no more. For those of you who are pregnant now, savor it, savor every single moment of it. And for those of you who are considering the idea, but are a little nervous much like I was before, don’t worry. Being a mother is a true blessing and the greatest gift that can ever be bestowed upon a woman. While women, including myself, may joke about men needing to go through nine months of pregnancy, I wouldn’t want my husband to experience this. Not because he couldn’t handle it, but because I would be much to envious of him. After all, my son is with me 24/7 right now and I don’t think I could really handle it any other way.