Down By The Creek

Summer is going by quickly.  It didn’t seem that way a month ago.  At that point, I purchased a white board so that we could do a countdown to the first day of school.  It seemed eons away, but now we’re almost at the 20 day mark, and I’m about to eat crow.  I’m a little sad that I technically only have 3 weeks total of summer vacation left.   I’m hearing you all say, “I told you so”.   Especially those of you who have told me to savor the days as they will be gone soon.

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Campbell’s Covered Bridge.

In my effort to soak up the last few days of summer, I’ve taken my boys on some adventures over the past week.   We tried a new hiking group, picked blackberries, and most recently spent a cooler morning at Campbell’s Covered Bridge in Northeastern Greenville County.

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The kiddos love to run and scream through the bridge.

My original intent was to snap some pics of my kiddos, being the amateur photographer that I am.   The bridge is gorgeous and the scenery surrounding it just breathtaking especially in the fall months.   It offers a serenity that’s becoming nearly impossible to find in this day and time and even gives me a sense of nostalgia as I grew up playing in the woods and creeks.   Speaking of creeks, Beaverdam Creek which runs directly under the bridge was easily the best part of the journey for both of my boys.   Thankfully I thought ahead for that scenario and came prepared with towels and a change of clothing.

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It’s amazing the things that seem to catch their attention.

There’s something peaceful about a creek, the sounds, the rhythm of the water as it stumbles over all of the rocks in its path.   I love a good creek.   They’re refreshing , cool and in most cases sparkling.   They offer a great way for a quick cool off without a complete soaking unless you’re my two children.

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A little exploring before taking off of the shoes.

What started out as throwing sticks and stones into the babbling waters, soon turned into no socks and shoes and a trek through the creek.   Davey immediately took off after discarding his socks and shoes, and slipped on the first rock and went right into the water.   My heart skipped a beat.   Was he hurt?  Was he going to start crying?   Would he want to leave this beautiful place to go back home to his toys and television?   I held my breath as he stood up from the water, his clothes dripping wet, arms stretched out as if was going to take flight, and then he laughed.   He threw his head back and laughed a laugh I haven’t heard from him.   Henry, usually the more daring of my two children, stayed back and yelled, “be careful, D.”

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And there is Davey, sans socks and shoes, enjoying Beaverdam Creek.

Davey kicked and splashed water.  He pulled up pebbles and caught some leaves, and even tried to sneak up on a couple of dragonflies cooling themselves in the stiller section of the water.   Henry, after slipping once, didn’t seem to want much to do with the water anymore, which disappointed me tremendously.   So we found a nice dry rock in the middle of the creek and Henry and I took up residence on it, him sliding over occasionally to sit in the flowing water while Davey went up and down the creek bed.

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At home, you can’t get these two to be peaceful with each other. In nature? Well, that’s a different story.

I sat peacefully, a smile upon my face as I watched my two boys, one sitting in the running waters, the other inspecting every inch of the creek, from the various rocks, washed smooth of their jagged edges thanks to years and years of the creek flow, to the flowers that were smiling back at us from alongside the creek.   Davey would walk over to the water in one section, as it danced back and forth over rocks while rolling towards him, and with his hands cupped at the bottom, he would fill his hands with water and then throw it into the air.   I loved his laughter.  I loved his excitement and inquisitive nature.    To see the creek through his eyes?   Now that would be sight.

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Look at those baby feet and that beautiful water.

It became apparent, shortly thereafter that Henry would be best without his clothing and just a diaper which of coursed meant Davey wanted to be free of his clothing as well and run around in his underwear.   So, there we were, my two little redneck children and I, skipping around in the waters of Beaverdam Creek in their underwear, reminding me easily of the little things in life that seem to matter most.

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Henry throwing a few rocks.

We only stayed an hour as a few thunderclouds rolled in, forcing an early evacuation of a place that my boys want to visit every single day now.   Yeah, going there added extra effort on to me.   We could have gone home, where the boys would have been dry and clean, watched some television and just hung out of for the day OR we could just get ourselves covered in some silt, mud, and wet leaves and a treasury of memories moving forward.   I vote for the extra work, especially since it made me feel like a kid again.  When was the last time I stuck my toes in a creek?

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Not the best lighting as I wasn’t totally prepared for this shot, but still a keeper all the same.

 

New Adventures

I’m game for trying almost anything, especially if it’s an activity for my kids.   This past week, I read an article in Parents Magazine about this nationwide group called Hike it Baby.  It’s basically a group of parents who get together on different days and go hiking.  At the end of the article, I was given a website where I could go and find local groups.   I went there, found one, joined the Facebook page, introduced myself and agreed to go on our first hike with the group today.

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Starting our hike.

My boys love being outdoors and I love finding a way to mix in exercise with our day-to-day routines since I’m having a terrible time losing weight.   We’ve hiked on numerous occasions at Paris Mountain, and the boys are constantly asking me to go again.   Thanks to this overbearing heat, we haven’t been able to make it out to hike during the summer.  Well, I won’t blame it just on the heat…I do worry about snakes as well.  YUCK!

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I packed us up this morning and we headed out to Lake Conestee Nature Park in Southern Greenville County.   We were told to meet at the playground, but when we arrived I must say my stomach began to turn.  Perhaps it was the smoothie I made this morning (my husband and I are on a cleanse.  Stay tuned for a blog on that), or just the oppressive humidity, but really it was the immense number of moms who were already there.

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Checking out the river.

When I was younger, I enjoyed talking.   I enjoy talking now, but just with people I know.  I’m not very good at meeting new people, nor am I very good at chit chat, also known as small talk.   For the sake of my children, I try very hard in this arena, but alas I’m just a colossal failure and I knew today would be a tough one.

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Henry was hoping to climb over and that I wouldn’t catch him. Little stinker!

We quickly gave a round robin, welcome where we introduced ourselves and our kids.   First thing I noticed was all the moms and their baby packs.  Davey was the oldest one there, and I’m pretty sure Henry was the second oldest.   I know the group is called Hike it Baby, but I thought that also included toddlers and preschoolers.   This should have been my sign to pack it up or go off on our own, but since I’d already introduced us, I knew it would look shamefully bad for me to leave.

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They liked being the leaders of the pack.

The leader of the group took us down the path and yet another sign that this was not to be a good event seemed to flash in front of me.  My children were not interested in staying with the group.  Nope.  My little rays of sunshine (sarcasm for those of you who DON’T know my children) decided to run.   I wasn’t going to have any casual conversation with any of the other moms.  Nope.  I turned around to catch a glance of the moms and they all seemed to be paired off talking about the latest organic diaper or homemade food little junior was eating.  I was the odd mom out.  I’m pretty used to that.

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Some of the wetlands in the park.

Even with all of this, I decided to stick it out, but to say that we proceeded at an excruciatingly slow pace is an understatement.  We walked a mile in 41 minutes, 27 seconds.   That’s my pace for a 4 mile run and the pace for my kids to hike 3 miles.   Then again, we don’t stroll and talk.  We take our hiking a bit more seriously.   I had hoped for this to be my opportunity to get in some exercise, but I don’t even think I burned 30 calories, much less got my heart rate up.

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Henry decided he could go it alone.

We finished up the hike, with me meeting ZERO parents, and climbed back in our car.   The boys had fun and they want to do it again.  Me?  I’m game for that.  The preserve was beautiful, the hike not too strenuous, and there’s 400 acres to explore.   I just think we’ll go it alone the next time or perhaps with just one other friend.

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I’m sure the group is wonderful, especially for those who are more outgoing than me and have children who don’t run around like wild banshees.   They’re offering up the opportunity to hike a portion of Table Rock on Thursday and I think we may still do that and if it comes down to it, we’ll just go off on our own.

DSC_0219Davey is learning how to pose for photos from Aunt Erin.

 

If you’re interested in learning more about a Hike it Baby group near you, then google the name and find your closest location.

Going On a Bear Hunt

I’ve blogged before about all of these romantic, Norman Rockwell-esque visions I’ve had of raising my children.   I’ve always imagined our adventures to be like something you would see in an old Saturday Evening Post.   The boys would be dressed handsomely, the adventures would go off flawlessly, and we’d all have a grand laugh and sheer enjoyment.   Then I became a mother to two boys, and I realized that any sort of notion I’d had about having this type of family could immediately be shooed out the door like today’s annoying fly.

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When Davey was still a baby, we bought a hiking backpack that has a nice little compartment for him to sit in.   My husband and I thought that since we lived in one of the more beautiful place of South Carolina, with mountains literally right in our backyard, that we could go on hikes.   It never happened.   Davey never once got to sit in said backpack and experience the fresh air, the exciting wildlife, or the exhilaration of hiking through the woods.

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When Henry came along, we used the backpack while flying, finding it easier as he’s become older to put him in it as opposed to bringing along a labor intensive stroller.   For weeks I’ve considered remedying this, to take my boys out into the woods, to experience nature, like I did as a kid.   Unfortunately, the incessant rain and cumbersome flooding we’ve received have dampened (all puns intended) my desire to go for a hike, not to mention that I’ve been super worried about going alone with the boys, only because they can be a handful at times.   Yesterday, we made that dream into a reality.

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For the first time in weeks, my husband came home early on a Friday.   He had no meetings, no golf games, or clay shooting events.   He wasn’t going deer hunting on a Saturday morning, so no need to go out on the land to check out his blind or his feeder.  Nope.   The stars officially aligned for our hiking trip, so we took it.

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As I stated earlier, we live in the most perfect of places.   We have Paris Mountain literally in our backyard.   It’s a beautiful mountain, not extremely high, but gorgeous to look at while sitting on our back porch in the evenings.   Since it was after 2 when my husband got home, we decided our best bet was to just go to Paris Mountain to hike as opposed to driving to one of the many other splendid places.

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I laced up my hiking boots, the wonderfully comfortable North Face boots my husband bought me 5 years ago and which I’ve only worn a handful of times.   I dressed the boys warmly, had them all prepared, so that as soon as my husband walked into the door we could go, and off we went.

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This is a great time of year for a hike, especially in South Carolina.   The days are still enjoyably warm, but not too hot.   The mountain air was fresh and invigorating.   We started out on the small trail, before taking on one just a little bit harder.   My husband took the lead, Henry strapped to his back, while Davey and I followed along.

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The entire hike, Davey periodically broke into song, singing, “Going on a bear hunt,” while other times asking about the creeks, the fallen trees, the fallen leaves, the rocks he had to climb over, or some of the massive roots.   We used the opportunity to talk to him about if he’s ever lost in the woods and is thirsty where best to drink water…from a flowing creek or stream.   We talked about the huge roots, why some of them can be seen above ground, and what their purpose is.   We stepped over small breaks in the trail where trickles of water were flowing.   We even repurposed some of the fallen branches into our own personal walking sticks.

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About a mile into the hike, Henry decided he’d had enough of being lugged around on his daddy’s back, especially as he saw Davey able to enjoy the physical exploration of the trail, so we took him out and let him walk.  I cringed for a split second as I wondered if he’d actually stay with us on the trail or if he’d wander off and try to climb the mountain.   He quickly proved me wrong, but after only a half mile of walking, he tripped and fell, thereby skinning up his hands and forcing us to put him back into the backpack.

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We had a wonderful time, an hour and a half of nothing but us and God’s beautiful creations.   It took us literally an hour and a half to hike 3 miles, which I’m hoping will improve once we get the boys going more regularly.   Davey even enjoyed himself so much, that he wanted to get up and go again this morning.   Unfortunately, our Saturday is already booked solid.

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What a great day of hiking, “bear hunting”, and family time.   I can’t wait for more.

10 Things This Stay at Mom No Longer Wants to Hear

Every. Single. Day.  I am bombarded by questions, comments, advice, and judgment from other people because I am a stay at home mom.  Every. Single. Day.   It never ceases, it’s like a constant barrage of words pelting my entire body.  And of course there are blogs and articles about being a working mom vs. a stay at home mom, which is better and which is worse.   This morning, I read a blog on Scary Mommy that had the 12 things a working mother never wants to hear.  First off, let me give props to you working moms out there.  It’s tough work.  I’ve been there and done that.   Secondly, let me also just give props to ALL the moms in the world, whether they be working moms or stay at home moms.   You, WE, are all rock stars!

Back to this blog I read.   Working moms get a lot of grief.  I know this.  On occasion, I’ve thought negatively about my fellow working moms whether it be because I’m jealous of their adult interactions, having a life OUTSIDE of their kids, or because I just think their being selfish (yes, I have thought this.  Shame on me, I know!)  After reading this blog, it got me to thinking about the things I, a stay at home mom, don’t want to ever hear.

1.  Oh, I’m sorry.  You must have lost your job.  First off, don’t just automatically assume that since I’m staying home with my kids, it means I lost my job.   Some of us actually chose to leave our Corporate America jobs.   I went back to work when my maternity leave with Davey was up.  He was six weeks old.  I turned in my notice when he was four months old.  I saw nothing productive out of my day while I was working.   Instead all I could think about was what I was missing out on with my son.  I would rise at 5 to shower and get ready, feed Davey at 6 and while my husband dressed him and fixed our breakfast, I would finish getting ready, pack Davey’s diaper bag and drop him off at daycare no later than 7:10, go to work, leave work at 5, pick Davey up at 5:30 and then would have maybe 2 hours with him before he had to go to bed.  2 hours!  That wasn’t acceptable for me.   I can always go back to work, maybe not in my chosen profession, but I can’t go back and make memories.   So, no I CHOSE to leave my job.

2.  You must have a degree in Home Ec.  Yes, I do hear this.  Do they even offer Home Economics anymore?  I never took it in high school.   And just for your information I have an Associates Degree in English, a Bachelors Degree in Speech and Communication Studies & Political Science (I double majored) and a Master’s Degree in Business Administration.

3.  I bet you have time to get caught up on all your soap operas.  Yes, I do hear this one as well.  Who watches these anymore?  I don’t even have time to sit down and watch the news in the mornings, much less watch a soap opera.   When the boys are napping, I’m usually doing some sort of housework or maybe squeezing in some writing time.

4.  I bet you get to workout all the time.  Yes, I do go to the Y, so I do get in some sort of an exercise routine.   I don’t do it just for me, as the Y offers all sorts of programs for children.   Davey flips out if we don’t go on a Wednesday, since that is his exercise day, but I don’t work out all the time.  Anyone who’s seen me knows that I don’t, but I am active with both of my boys, playing soccer or tee ball in the backyard, going on bike rides, and hiking, but my boys are with me 90% of the time I’m getting in any sort of exercise.

5.  Your children will be socially awkward.  My children will NOT and are NOT socially awkward.   That is because I have chosen from the start to constantly have them at various events, from the library, to the children’s museum, to play dates.  I give up my comforts of wanting to just stay at home, so that they can have the interaction they need.  Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean we stay home 24/7.  I’m very conscientious about keeping my boys active socially.

6.  Studies have shown that children thrive in an atmosphere when both parents are working.  I went to daycare and look how I turned out.    Studies are coming out EVERY day.  There’s always a new one.  This one touts exercising while pregnant will increase your child’s IQ when he’s 5.  Another says that smelling a person’s farts will increase your life span by 6 years.  Studies are gibberish in most cases, a waste of time and money.  The studies focusing on curing cancers and AIDS and other medical impediments, those are worth the energy to be concerned about  Studies are subjective and can NOT be used in every situation.   I went to daycare, too, and I turned out just fine, but I want something more for my kids.

7.  Your husband must make a LOT of money.  Yes, my husband has a wonderful job and it is his job that allows me to be a stay at home mom, but we’ve made sacrifices.  We don’t drive luxury cars, I don’t own luxury clothing, we don’t go out to eat at fancy restaurants.   We had to change our lifestyle in order to accommodate us living off of one salary.  It was hard at first, but we’ve made it work and my kids don’t want for anything.   Stop assuming we’re rich just because I don’t work by my own choice.

8.  I could never stay at home with my kids.  You could, if your circumstances allowed for it.   Some moms must work in order to help keep food on the table and the kids clothed.  Others do it because they just don’t think they could stay home with the kids.   Look, it’s not easy.   I lose my patience a LOT, I mean A LOT!  Some days I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.   Some days I feel there has been no sense of accomplishment.  I lay my head down some nights and think, “what did I accomplish today?”  Being at home is hard work.  It’s not easy, but if your situation allowed for it, you COULD do it.  I have faith in you.

9.  I bet you have all the time in the world to write that novel you’ve been working on.  As most of you who read my blog know, I sometimes go for days, even weeks without writing a blog because I just don’t have the time for it.  I do most of my writing either early in the morning before everyone is up or during that 30 minutes of time in the evenings when my husband is having his one on one time with the boys.   After that, my husband and I spend a couple of quiet hours together.  Writing isn’t my priority right now.

10.  Must be nice to get to sleep in every morning.  You know, you don’t have to get up and go to work.  No, you’re right, I don’t have to leave the house to go to work, but I still treat my role as a stay at home mom as a job, a career choice.   I get up every morning by 6 (I do have the occasional morning when I get to sleep to maybe 7), do my writing, have some coffee, get dressed and get breakfast ready.   I find if I don’t keep a routine to my day, including rising in the morning, then I’m setting myself and my boys up for failure.   I don’t let my boys sleep past 7:30 most mornings because I want them already on the routine of needing to get up Monday through Friday.   They’ll be going to school soon, after all.

I could add more to this list, but really I don’t have the time, nor do I think many of you have the time to read more.   Look, we all have this chip in our head, a little switch that turns our filters on and off, but for some reason it seems to malfunction when talking to mothers.   I don’t know if we’re just trying to make small talk, but if this is how it turns out, then just don’t do it.   Stop passing judgment on me and my life just because you either a.) don’t understand it or b.) just think it’s the wrong route to take.

My boys are both very smart, testing above their age groups.   They love each other and other kids.   They’re well mannered and two of the sweetest boys you could ever meet.   Could they be this way if I were a working mom?  Sure, but I don’t think our relationships would be this great.