Quicker Than We Know It

For the past few days, it’s been agony in our house.   We’re back home from our two week vacation to Rochester and trying to get back into the swing of things.  I’m not sure what our problem has been, and by “our” I really mean my children, but to say they’re not getting along is an understatement.   The past few days I’ve found myself contemplating Baileys in my morning coffee, job searching, and even just running away from the house, leaving the boys to fend for themselves.

Yesterday I counted the days (including weekends) until school starts back for my children.  It was 46 days, so 45 today.   I’ve played around with the idea of creating a countdown board, one to help me through the days, but I thought it might depress the boys.  Apparently I don’t know my children as well as I thought.   When I told both of them how much longer they had until school started, I was met with cries of “that’s way far off” and “I don’t know if I can wait that long.”  Huh?  My kids are actually looking forward to school.  Imagine that!  Perhaps I will create that countdown board after all.

It’s as if the school seemed to know that I was desperate for the summer to be over as I received packets for both boys in the mail yesterday.  It’s your standard “welcome” packet complete with photography waiver, PTA dues, calendars, and volunteer opportunities.  Excitedly, I tore into the packets and perused through the calendar.   So much will be going on this year and I can’t wait for the adventures in learning to start.

This afternoon, I decided to begin work on the packets, first thing being to take the calendar and log in all essential days onto my personal calendar.   For the things I felt my husband needed to be a part of, I emailed a calendar invite to him so he could add it to his schedule.   I was feeling accomplished and for the first time all week, I’ve felt normal again, and able to breathe, but then things started to unravel as I continued adding events.

In September, there are two separate Donuts with Dad days that my husband will need to attend with BOTH boys.   As I entered those events and hit “ENTER” the next event popped up on my screen…Davey’s 5th Birthday.  My first born will be 5 this year.   5!!!!   Thanks, Google!   Way to give my heart a true smack for being so ungrateful.

I continued on into December, with another shouting from my calendar of “Henry’s 3rd Birthday”.  How is this possible?   How are my children going to be 5 &3?  How are these days going by so quickly and yet so painfully slow as well?

Fast forward a few months on my calendar and we’re into April when Davey begins testing for kindergarten readiness.   TESTING!!!!!  Gah!  I don’t know whether to be excited, happy, nervous, scared crapless, or worried.  Actually, I know what I am…I’m sad.   My first baby is growing up and will no longer be in preschool.  He’ll be in school, all day, every day.   He’ll have lunch without me.   He’ll spend six hours of every day without me.   He’ll have a life away from me, and as much as I’m exhausted with the two of them this summer, I’m saddened by how quickly life is moving for my little family.   Even when I’m so overwhelmed with the two of them and all I can think about is how quickly the day will be over, deep down I’m hurting.

Lately Facebook has been inundating me with memories of Davey.  There have been pictures of his first steps, the first days we were together as I became a stay at home mom.   There are memories of his silly faces, his dances, his “no pants Tuesday”, imitating daddy, cuddling with Dixie, eating breakfast on the back porch, learning to write, Facetime with Daddy for breakfast, dinner and bedtime (since daddy used to travel so much) and “reading” silently in his room.    It’s as if Facebook is insync with my moods and knows that I need these reminders even when I’m desperate for some peace, for some time away from my children.

People tell me I’ll miss these days all the time.   They’ve been telling me that for years, but I’ve chosen not to listen, to tune out their “all knowing” voices.   I’ve put my head down and found a way to plow through each day with my boys and just hope for the end of the day.   I tell these people they’re nuts, that I’ll “never miss these days,” but I will.  We all know I will.   Heck, I’m already missing the days when Davey had his little baby voice as he was learning to speak.   I already miss the days when I could pick him up and cuddle up with him.   I already miss the days of his chubby little munchkin legs (he’s begun to take after me and is getting tall and skinny).   There is so much my heart already hurts over, things that have long since gone.

It’s a shame it takes things like Facebook memories and school welcome packets to zap me out of my summer blues with the boys.



Technology, How I Love Thee…

Let me count the ways.

1. You provide me with easy access to my weather 24/7. Yes, I’m an old lady now. I live and die by the Weather Channel, or in the name of the 21st century, the Weather Channel App.

2. You provide me with NFL, every game, and with multiple ways of viewing.

3. You enable me to continue writing my blog. Well, actually, you allow it to be viewed by so many. With out you, technology, there wouldn’t be a blog.

4. You make it easy for me to take pictures at any given point and to edit those pictures to make me look like a real photographer.

5. You allow me to not only make phone calls, but to also check my email or surf the Web while on said calls. How wonderful you are.

6. You make it easier for me to be a female. Since the majority of us seem to be directionally challenged and almost incapable of reading a map, you provide a nice little voice to walk us through our routes. *I said majority not ALL*

7. I can now officially keep track of the distances I run without having to drive the route in order to calculate said distance.

8. I no longer have to actually “talk” to someone when I want to ask a quick question…I can just text. Er, well, I can text those who choose to embrace technology (not my parents). This is a true lifesaver as I really just don’t have the time to sit down and talk anymore.

9. I can pack multiple “books” when travelling and only take up an inch or so in my bag!

And finally, the true reason I really LOVE technology are for moments like tonight, when my husband is not able to be home to enjoy a family dinner with us.

10. FACETIME!!!!! Thanks to this lovely little invention, we are able to have “dinner” with daddy even when he’s not here. A true lifesaver for me since Davey doesn’t eat well and my husband ALWAYS gets him to eat.

dinner with daddy

Davey’s Songs

Davey is currently at the age where I should be expecting his vocabulary to increase, which it has, and for him to actually start carrying a tune. I’m not sure if the tune should be something he knows, like a sweet little nursery rhyme, or what I’m currently hearing from him.

It started last week while we were in NY to visit my in-laws. Davey has his own bedroom complete with a Lightning McQueen car bed, from the movie Cars. It even has its own little race track at the foot of the bed. Once he saw the bed, all we were heard from his mouth was, “Racing car bed.” How sweet, right? Well, that one little phrase turned into something more as when it became time for him to go to bed, whether that be a nap or night time, he started making his own little song. Every day we heard, “Racing car, racing car, oh my racing car bed.” Over and over and over. I’d loved it! I couldn’t help but chuckle each time he sang it. Of course, I wanted to stab out my eardrums when I would try to fall asleep at night and all I would hear is my son’s voice singing his little song. It was actually in my head at that point and not coming from him.

Well, a few days went by and he quickly started changing his tune. His next song became about his grandfather (my father-in-law) and my in-laws English Springer Spaniel named, Mya. Davey refers to his grandfather in NY as Guh Guh. Not sure where that came from, but whenever we Skype or Facetime, he always says “Guh Guh” when he sees his grandfather’s face. It’s cute and my father-in-law seems to love it.

Anyways, by Tuesday, his tunes transformed from being about his racing car bed, to being about Guh Guh, Mya, and their noses. Yep, that’s right…noses! What we heard moving forward was, “Oh, Guh Guh, Mya, noses, oh”. Those words went on and on and on and were even accompanied with a little dance complete with what looked like a shuffle of the feet and jazz fingers. Hmmm.

I thought it was just a one time thing, Davey’s tunes, especially since I hadn’t heard anymore from him since we came home. Maybe it was something in the water in NY? That was until last night when we sat at the kitchen table, my husband, Davey and me, and played a game of dominoes. We’re teaching Davey the need for sharing, for waiting, and for taking turns, something he’s going to need to know once Henry gets here. So, after he played his domino, we told Davey it was Daddy’s turn, then it was Mommy’s turn. Needless to say, he broke into song (and had he been on the floor, dance too) about taking turns. This one flowed a little something like this, “Oh, Daddy turn and Mama turn and then Davey turn, oh, oh, oh.” That’s right, there were three “ohs” at the end.

Davey won’t bother trying to follow along with a song that’s been around for ages. He’s not interested. Instead, he’s eager to create his own little songs based upon his every day experiences and I love it! What a creative little mind he has and although he doesn’t exactly carry the tune well, he’s putting for the effort and my husband and I get the greatest little chuckles from it.

Words with Daddy

I think I just fell more in love with my husband tonight.

My husband is a different man since he’s become a father.   He’s always had a good heart, very intelligent, and just an all around awesome guy.   Becoming a father seems to have magnified all of that with me and nights like tonight just make me love him more (if that was possible).

My husband’s job has him traveling a lot.    He left early this morning well before Davey was even up.   The only time he’s had with his son was last night when he put him to bed.   I spoke with him briefly this morning on his drive and put Davey on speaker phone so he could share some words with his daddy.   They were brief and to the point, but the love between my son and his father is evident.   My boy worships the ground Daddy walks on and I’m proud of that.

Tonight, my husband decided to Facetime me on my iPad which is perfect for Davey.   We sat in the recliner as my husband’s face popped up on the screen.

“Daddeeee!” Davey screamed (he’s moved past the da-da portion).

“Hi, Buddy,” my husband said back to him.

Davey looked up at me and then back at the screen as he saw his Daddy’s face in front of him.   He pointed at Daddy, waved at him, blew him kisses and even laughed.   It made me smile, but I suppose what made my night and made me fall more in love with my husband was the fact that he sat in a lonely hotel room and sang nursery rhymes to our son.  He read him a Dr. Seuss book, one that my husband knows by heart since he’s read it so many times to Davey.   He played “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” with Davey.   They did their ABC’s and even sang the song about two little red birds sitting on a hill.  It was the greatest ten minutes of my night and I know it was the same for Davey.

My husband talked about his day.   He asked Davey about his lunch and his dinner and inquired about the homemade strawberry muffins I’d made.   Davey did his best to communicate with the occasional nodding of the head, and his gobbledy gook of baby talk he has.   It was awesome and at one point my son tried to hug the iPad before waving good night to his daddy.   It melted my heart and made me smile as my husband did the same thing for our son.   They blew each other a kiss before we signed off, then I got a hug that I’m sure was meant for Daddy as Davey squeezed me tightly and then said silently and almost sadly into my ear, “Dadddeee.”