Everyone told me to be prepared for this. For the past 3 weeks, I’ve bragged about Davey NOT behaving as everyone said he would. From day one, he held his little brother lovingly, would greet him in the mornings with a handshake and a, “nice to meet you, Henry.” I was just so proud and knew for certain that my sweet Davey would stun the world. Unfortunately, I’ve allowed myself to live in an altered reality, at least in my head.
Today marks the first day of me operating solo with both of my boys. Henry woke me at 5:30, so after nursing him, I climbed into the shower, then trudged downstairs for a cup of coffee and my 30 minutes of Bible study. It’s a new day in a new year, so why not start it off structured and organized, right? Davey slept until almost 8 am which means he missed seeing his daddy this morning. I did my normal morning routine of singing my own personal take on “Good Morning”, from the musical Singing in the Rain, and dressed Davey. As a side note, when I wake him he requests “Good Morning”.
So, Davey and I talked during breakfast. We counted, said our ABCs, and sang a couple of songs, all of which we’ve done PH (moving forward, this stands for Pre-Henry). It wasn’t until Henry started crying, that the demeanor of my cute and sweet little two year old morphed into something I’d hoped we’d never encounter…the Jealousy Monster.
This morning, all I’ve heard is Davey say that he doesn’t like Henry. I’ve watched him scowl when I would pick up Henry to nurse him. “No, Mama, no. Not feed Henry.” I’ve tried to read to Davey while nursing Henry (which worked last week), but instead I got, “mama is Davey mama, not Henry.” I told Davey I could still read to him, which seemed to be fine until Henry became fussy again. I told Davey I needed to change Henry’s diaper, “no, mama, not change Henry diaper. put him in floor.” I’m shocked, although I shouldn’t be. Everyone told me Davey would start becoming territorial.
Over the weekend, I was paged upstairs to Davey’s room while my husband was putting Davey to bed. I handed off Henry and went into Davey’s room. He wanted mommy to read to him! How wonderfully sweet, I thought. So, I read to him, but when I would try to leave I was met with tears and sobs followed by, “mommy, hold me. Mommy, I love you. Mommy, don’t leave me. Mommy, please come back, I be a good boy, please, mommy.” It tore me up! I eventually had to leave to nurse Henry, so my husband took over with Davey. I listened through the monitor as my husband explained to Davey that mommy still loved him, but she also loves Henry. At first, it felt so good because it meant Davey needed me, but lately I feel bad because I can’t let everything be about him anymore.
And as if I needed something more on my plate, Henry has decided that today is the day he MUST be held. I’ve bragged about the fact that he seems to be more independent than Davey was, that he’s content to be in the pack and play or the Mamaroo, but not today. Much like Davey, Henry seems to be marking his territory while thumbing his nose at his big brother. It’s going to be a fun, fun world in the Doser household moving forward.