Thank You, Sir, For Your Concern

Studies have shown, and my friends have informed me, that having the occasional glass of wine (preferably red) will not cause any harm to my unborn child. Personally, I consider it a blessing from God and a true gift to be able to carry a child and bring him into this world, so giving up beer and wine is a supremely small price to pay in exchange.

Unfortunately, I am one of the few women in this world that genuinely enjoys the taste of beer. Liquor I can do without. Wine, I don’t really need (it’s nice to have a glass when taking a bubble bath, but that’s something else I’ve given up as well, since I LOVE hot baths and I can’t raise my core temperature too high while pregnant).

When I first became pregnant, I thought my options on non-alcoholic beer were limited. I falsely assumed I would be forced to endure the unappealing taste of an O’Doul’s (which reminds me more and more of a Coors everyday, and for anyone I may offend, I apologize, but Coors is a pretty classless beer reserved mostly for those of the redneck stature.) What I found out after a few months was that there are other options. Beck makes one that tastes like Heineken. There’s also Kaliber made by Guinness, and then Warsteiner and even Buckler (which is my favorite and is actually made by Heineken). Then there is St. Pauli, which has also found its own spot in my fridge. So, rest easy, mommies (and even dad’s who are eager to find something to soothe their wives’ cravings), there are options.

Friday, I decided to take my afternoon break from work to go purchase some non-alcoholic beer and non-alcoholic wine. The discount beverage store around the corner from my office is the only place I’ve found that carries the entire wide variety of choices. I was fully expecting the stares and quiet whisperings I received when I stepped out of my car and walked through the sliding glass doors. The first thing people saw was my protruding belly and then I watched as their eyes moved up to my face. Many had furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips, obviously disgusted by the fact that a nearly eight month pregnant woman would have the audacity to step foot into a liquor store. I kept my head held high and walked to the aisle that housed all of my favorites. Within 5 minutes, I had my preferences in hand and I walked to the register.

I was second in line which only meant that I had to deal with more idle stares and judgmental glances. I didn’t care, because I was doing nothing wrong. When it was my turn to check out, I slid my purchases to the front of the counter and reached into my purse to retrieve my debit card. What I encountered was completely off the wall and unexpected.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t in good conscience sell this to you,” the pimple faced kid replied to me. He had pulled my wine and six-pack of beer closer to him, protecting it. I looked up at him and saw that his eyes went down to my stomach and then back to my eyes.

“And why is that?” I asked.

“Well, because of your condition,” he said. I watched as he proudly inflated his chest and stood taller. The poor kid was pleased with his voice. He was standing up for what he felt was right, and I couldn’t stifle a laugh.

“Well, Sparky, I want to thank you for the concern of the welfare of my unborn child, but if you’ll take a look at what you’re protecting there, you’ll see it’s all non-alcoholic and even if it were not, you still can’t NOT sell it to me.”

I watched as the poor kid drooped his shoulders and released the air from his peacocked chest. He tilted back the bottles and six-pack and read their alcoholic content before quickly apologizing to me and then ringing up my purchases.

I appreciate this kid standing up for his beliefs and what he felt was right. I can’t say I’m angry, actually I find the incident more amusing each time I think about it. I thanked him for his concern, took my bags and walked out the door, only to walk into a couple who were walking into the store. I immediately caught their stares and looks of disgust before hearing the lady say to her partner, “I think we should call the police. She should not be drinking.” The partner then replied, “that’s non-alcoholic beer she’s carrying.” Obviously he was a beer connoisseur.

So, note to myself moving forward, if I decide that I have that craving again for beer, I will send my husband to take care of it.


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