Tag: PTA

Quicker Than We Know It

On By Doser3In Dreaming of Mommyhood - GeneralLeave a comment

For the past few days, it’s been agony in our house.   We’re back home from our two week vacation to Rochester and trying to get back into the swing of things.  I’m not sure what our problem has been, and by “our” I really mean my children, but to say they’re not getting along is an understatement.   The past few days I’ve found myself contemplating Baileys in my morning coffee, job searching, and even just running away from the house, leaving the boys to fend for themselves.

Yesterday I counted the days (including weekends) until school starts back for my children.  It was 46 days, so 45 today.   I’ve played around with the idea of creating a countdown board, one to help me through the days, but I thought it might depress the boys.  Apparently I don’t know my children as well as I thought.   When I told both of them how much longer they had until school started, I was met with cries of “that’s way far off” and “I don’t know if I can wait that long.”  Huh?  My kids are actually looking forward to school.  Imagine that!  Perhaps I will create that countdown board after all.

It’s as if the school seemed to know that I was desperate for the summer to be over as I received packets for both boys in the mail yesterday.  It’s your standard “welcome” packet complete with photography waiver, PTA dues, calendars, and volunteer opportunities.  Excitedly, I tore into the packets and perused through the calendar.   So much will be going on this year and I can’t wait for the adventures in learning to start.

This afternoon, I decided to begin work on the packets, first thing being to take the calendar and log in all essential days onto my personal calendar.   For the things I felt my husband needed to be a part of, I emailed a calendar invite to him so he could add it to his schedule.   I was feeling accomplished and for the first time all week, I’ve felt normal again, and able to breathe, but then things started to unravel as I continued adding events.

In September, there are two separate Donuts with Dad days that my husband will need to attend with BOTH boys.   As I entered those events and hit “ENTER” the next event popped up on my screen…Davey’s 5th Birthday.  My first born will be 5 this year.   5!!!!   Thanks, Google!   Way to give my heart a true smack for being so ungrateful.

I continued on into December, with another shouting from my calendar of “Henry’s 3rd Birthday”.  How is this possible?   How are my children going to be 5 &3?  How are these days going by so quickly and yet so painfully slow as well?

Fast forward a few months on my calendar and we’re into April when Davey begins testing for kindergarten readiness.   TESTING!!!!!  Gah!  I don’t know whether to be excited, happy, nervous, scared crapless, or worried.  Actually, I know what I am…I’m sad.   My first baby is growing up and will no longer be in preschool.  He’ll be in school, all day, every day.   He’ll have lunch without me.   He’ll spend six hours of every day without me.   He’ll have a life away from me, and as much as I’m exhausted with the two of them this summer, I’m saddened by how quickly life is moving for my little family.   Even when I’m so overwhelmed with the two of them and all I can think about is how quickly the day will be over, deep down I’m hurting.

Lately Facebook has been inundating me with memories of Davey.  There have been pictures of his first steps, the first days we were together as I became a stay at home mom.   There are memories of his silly faces, his dances, his “no pants Tuesday”, imitating daddy, cuddling with Dixie, eating breakfast on the back porch, learning to write, Facetime with Daddy for breakfast, dinner and bedtime (since daddy used to travel so much) and “reading” silently in his room.    It’s as if Facebook is insync with my moods and knows that I need these reminders even when I’m desperate for some peace, for some time away from my children.

People tell me I’ll miss these days all the time.   They’ve been telling me that for years, but I’ve chosen not to listen, to tune out their “all knowing” voices.   I’ve put my head down and found a way to plow through each day with my boys and just hope for the end of the day.   I tell these people they’re nuts, that I’ll “never miss these days,” but I will.  We all know I will.   Heck, I’m already missing the days when Davey had his little baby voice as he was learning to speak.   I already miss the days when I could pick him up and cuddle up with him.   I already miss the days of his chubby little munchkin legs (he’s begun to take after me and is getting tall and skinny).   There is so much my heart already hurts over, things that have long since gone.

It’s a shame it takes things like Facebook memories and school welcome packets to zap me out of my summer blues with the boys.

 

Hip Hip Hooray for Pre-K

On By Doser3In Dreaming of Mommyhood - GeneralLeave a comment

The day was circled in a bright, obnoxious red on my calendar. With each stroke of a passing day, I became more and more excited and more and more relieved. Monday night, I regressed back to my days of preparing for the first day of school. I took Davey’s bag, read and re-read through the handbook, created my list of additional wish list items, and organized my day around the first day of school. I went to bed early, a little excited, but also exhausted. And for the first time, my fitbit recorded I had a 100% sleep efficiency. Coincidental? I think not.

Tuesday morning, I arose early. I showered and dressed before waking the boys. Davey was awake, as usual, but quietly sitting in his bed reading books (as usual). I dressed him, had him help me get Henry ready, and then we trudged off downstairs all the while quizzing him on his phonics and the name of his new teacher.

We arrived at the school to a multitude of parents. Once again, I looked like the single parent as I was the only one chauffeuring my kids in without a husband at my side. Do these other dads not work or do they have such wonderfully, illustrious jobs that they can come and go as they please? Must be nice!

I walked Davey into his classroom and helped him hang his bag. He sat down at the table and began working a puzzle as I debated whether or not I should hang around. He obviously didn’t care what I did, but I wondered, just for a split second, as to how I looked to the other mothers who were kneeling down with their children, tussling their hair and doling out kissed. All I really wanted to do was vacate and much like from the Beatles “Hard Days Night” movie push open the door and scream, “I’m free!” Instead I controlled myself, smiled at his teacher and quietly walked out of the room.

What I should have done is immediately get in my car and leave, but I couldn’t. I was compelled to spy upon this room that had been set aside, a room where coffee and pastries were being served. A room where mothers got together with each other and sobbed about their little babies going to school. A room aptly titled, “Sip and Sob.” I stuck my head in and was shocked at the number of mothers who were consoling each other. Wow! I didn’t understand it and as I was about to turn to leave, I was stopped by a mother coming in who asked how I was holding up. I spouted out a statement I stole from my buddy, Shelley…”They should have a mimosas and muffins room to celebrate my survival being a stay at home mom with this kid.” Then I smiled and walked away.

I picked Davey up 3 hours later and listened to his excitement and adventures. Later that evening I received an email from his teacher. Davey was the only child who didn’t shed any tears and she has a feeling I’m the only mom from his class who didn’t partake in the Sip and Sob room. Go, Davey and Mommy!

Thursday progressed much the same way, but I have discovered a few things this week.

1. I’m possibly the only mother who doesn’t care if my child wears cute designer clothing. I put him in a t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers. Everyone else (BOTH days) were in their Sunday bests.
2. Make sure to arrive at the carline at 12:01, so as to not be the first one in line since the playground is alongside the carline and apparently, recess is the last event of the day. I eventually had to drive off and lose my spot in line because Davey wanted to hang on to the fence and have a conversation with me.
3. My son’s best friends are all girls.
4. I’m probably the only mother not on the PTA.
5. I’m the only mother who still has a baby pooch for a stomach.
6. I must do better at memorizing the names of the other moms especially since they all know mine and Davey’s.
7. I also need to work on my socialize skills and at least PRETEND to care about these other moms so I can develop more BFFs (insert sarcasm)
8. These other moms must have filthy rich husbands, or come from money because they drive the designer cars, wear the designer clothes, and seem to be able to afford plastic surgery.
And finally
9. Any worry or fear about Davey I may have had whether it be intellect, socialization, or attitude can and should be put to bed. My kid is awesome and has this innate knack to adapt to ANYTHING.