Tag: happiness

Has It Really Been 13 Months?

On By Doser3In Dreaming of Mommyhood - GeneralLeave a comment

Yesterday marked the 13 month birthday of my youngest, Henry. 13 months?!?!?!? It doesn’t seem like 13 months have gone by. Why last year, I was getting used to operating on 4 hours or less of sleep.

This time last year, my oldest wasn’t impressed with his new little brother. After a month of being on this earth, Davey felt that Henry should have more substance to him other than being 10 pounds of screaming and pooping flesh. It was this time last year, when Henry was turning a month old that Davey exclaimed, “Mommy, I’m going to need you to put Henry back.”

His new chair from Santa.
His new chair from Santa.

Put him back? Surely he was joking, hence the reason I laughed, which then elicited this from Davey, “Mommy, why are you laughing? I didn’t make a funny.”

In 13 months, we’ve grown as a family, melded into a unit that for the most part operates as it should, each cog of the wheel turning and hopefully encouraging the other to turn. Of course, we have our meltdowns, and by “we”, I mean Davey. Perhaps we all (grandparents included) spoiled him too much. He WAS the only grandchild for a little over 2 years and what a grand title to have and then to relinquish in such a short time.

Enjoying a breakfast of cheerios.
Enjoying a breakfast of cheerios.

As for Henry, about whom is the true reason I write this post, well he’s a chubby little man, teetering along in happy contentment. He loves to hug our dog. He can even say “Dix”, short for Dixie. As a matter of fact, EVERY dog is Dix. He has an affinity for blowing kisses even to the strangest and often most repugnant of people. His brother is his idol, although Davey seems to be oblivious to this. He loves cars and books, dinosaurs and FOOD! The child eats, and he eats, and he eats. He is my little porker.

So, 13 months, where have you gone? What have we done with the time you’ve laid at our feet? Some days I feel we’ve trampled over the time with disdain, or maybe I’VE trampled over it with disdain, with my impatience at wanting to have two perfect little boys living in happy harmony. For the most part, I’d like to think we’ve not taken you for granted, 13 months, and that we’ve found at least one moment in every day to relish the time.

Celebrating his actual 1st birthday eating breakfast at Harry Caray's at Chicago's O'Hare Airport.
Celebrating his actual 1st birthday eating breakfast at Harry Caray’s at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.

Happy 13 months to the sweet little boy!

If You’re Happy and You Know it….

On By Doser3In Dreaming of Mommyhood - GeneralLeave a comment

Say “hooray!”

HOORAY!

I love that little song.   I sing it every morning to Davey.   He’s able to do everything except actually say “hooray”.   So, what made me decide to start a blog out this way?   I suppose it could be based on this article I read on Parenting.com.

As you all know, I’m constantly perusing Flipboard coming up with new things to write about it.   Sometimes I get a twinge of inspiration, other times, I get on a rant.   This time I was intrigued by a title that read:  Study:  Older Parents are Happier Parents.   And of course, since I’m only a couple of years away from 40, I feel that I am older than the average parent (especially first time parent).

New research published in Population and Development Review claims that most parents under the age of 30 are less happier than those who are over the age of 40.   Hmmm…..interesting and I seem to fall right between the two age sets.   Before I go too deep into the survey, let me give you some quick 411 on PDR.  It is a journal published by the Population Council that seeks to advance knowledge between population and social, economic, and environmental change and provides a forum for discussion of related issues of public policy (verbatim from their website:  www.popcouncil.org/publications/pdr).   Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the actual survey as apparently I need to make a donation in order to subscribe to them (everyone wants some money these days!).

I trust the abridged version I read on Parenting’s website and it’s gotten me to think about how happy I am now as opposed to how happy I was before.   I can’t speculate much on if I’m happier than my friends who became parents in their 20s, but I can say that this is the happiest I’ve been in my life.

I was happy the day I met my husband and the day I married my husband.   I was genuinely happy, but this is a different level of happiness, or maybe its a whole new happiness I’m looking at.   For the first time in my life, I feel that my life has a purpose and that makes me happy.   For the first time in my life, I feel that I’m needed and that makes me happy.   I’ve had purposes before and those that needed me, but it wasn’t the same as it is now.   Of course, would I have been this happy had I become a mom in my 20s?   Too hard to say.   There was a different frame of mind and priorities in play at that point and that’s what a lot of this survey is focusing on.

For example, the reason the researchers deduce that older parents are happier is because they’ve “lived” a life before having children.   They’ve sown their wild oats, indulged in a career and dreams and travel.   A bit shallow if you ask me, but it’s also something I can relate to.  Of course this is for “first time” older parents, but let’s take a look at the other side of the spectrum.

Older parents with older children seem to be just as happy as those older first time parents and the reason being is because the older children are lower-maintenance, thus allowing more personal time for the parents.   Again, a bit shallow, but it is reality.   And it seems to be that every part of the “happiness” wheel revolves on the one thing and that being the frame of mind of the parents.   Let’s see if I can make this a bit clearer…our happiness (at least from what I am able to read on this survey) is based upon selfish reasons and those selfish reasons are how having children seems to impact our lives outwardly.   And the one common denominator with this survey is that apparently first time parents in their early to mid twenties are less happy.  Don’t shoot the messenger, folks!

I’m a happy parent because I get to have this wonderful little gift from God.   I’m a happy parent because I get to learn something new everyday.  I’m a happy parent because I wake up and go to bed to unconditional love.  I’m a happy parent simply because I am a parent and I can’t imagine that really being different at any age.

I’m going to attempt to do a little bit more research to try to get my hands on this survey (free of charge) and post it on this site, but I’m curious as to the rest of you out there.   Do you feel that you’re happier than your younger or older peers?