Spreading Our Wings

And we’re off! This marks Davey’s 8th trip to Rochester. He’s been on a total of 30 plane rides in his 3 years on this earth. I think I hit 30 plane rides when I was 30 years old. This is Henry’s 2nd trip to Rochester, with a total of 10 plane rides and he’ll be a year old a week from today! Where has the time flown?

When we first began flying with Davey, I had much trepidation. I worried that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. I worried that I would be surrounded by travellers much like myself pre-baby. I was all prepared for the evil stares when we boarded the plane. We didn’t have any of that and we didn’t have a fussy baby either. Davey was a pro and has been ever since that first flight.

Henry did well his first time around, but I worried this time since he’s sick and just because he’s a lot more active and not exactly eager to sit still. Thankfully, the plane rides were not packed and we had empty seats in front of us. Davey chose his seat alongside the window and spent the better part of the flight staring out it. Henry? Well, he fought sleep and coughed and sneezed all over everyone. I’m sure people were panicking that my child would give them some sort of dreaded flu. But as we flew, I found myself reflecting on life before babies and what flying was like.

Ready for the first flight.
Ready for the first flight.

I’m envious of those people who get the luxury of putting earbuds into the ears and listening to music. I loathe those who get to sit back and read a book on their flights, and I absolutely abhor the ones who are able to recline back and sleep. It’s an Olympic sport just trying to maintain two children while flying. Once Davey was bored with looking out the window, he moved on to pretending that every barf bag was a bad guy and began to punch them profusely. When the seatbelt light when off, he thought it would be wonderful to try to crawl under every seat like it was a tunnel.

Really the flight is a piece of cake compared to the layover especially when you have a 3 HOUR layover and it’s from 6:30-9:30 in the evening. That’s prime playtime and bedtime for the boys. They’ve been cooped up on a plane for over an hour and then we’re going to continue to quarantine them when the moving sidewalks and escalators are beckoning them? What could we possibly be thinking and how horrible we are as parents to even consider keeping them constrained.

Fortunately for us, I brought Henry’s pajamas so he was able to get comfortable and snooze. Davey was able to watch Despicable Me on the iPad and basically all was well with the world. And with every flight, you’re unsure as to who or what you’ll encounter. Last night before boarding the last leg of our journey, Davey was able to meet two extremely selfless and brave young men. Our flight was fortunate to have two Marines on board, one of which had just graduated from Parris Island, SC.

Daddy's make the best pillows especially in an airport.
Daddy’s make the best pillows especially in an airport.

My only regret was that I did not get a picture of Davey as he walked over to both Marines, shook their hands, fist bumped them and then thanked them for their service. Of course I explained to my son who these young men were and what they did.

“Mommy, they’re heroes?” he asked me.

“Yes, Davey. They are heroes.”

“They beat the bad guys really bad,” Davey said with inflection on the words “bad”.

“Yes, buddy, they do.”

“I like them, Mommy. They are my best friends.”

Once we boarded the flight, all it took was a matter of minutes with the cabin lights dimmed, and both boys were fast asleep. Too bad the hubs and I couldn’t sleep or read a book or relax like all of our other flight mates. So goes the joy of flying with kids.

Happy Halloween

Last year was easily my most stressful Halloween. I spent weeks (should have spent months) planning what Davey would be. I read blogs, watched lifestyle programs, and saw Facebook posts about all of the original ideas so many parents had. Many were making costumes. Some were choosing themes for their families, and I was frantic to make Davey into a Minion from Despicable Me. It didn’t happen, especially after I couldn’t locate a yellow hooded sweatshirt, and the overalls I was going to put him in no longer fit. My goal was to come out cheap and be as homemade as possible. I couldn’t even find yellow paint for his face. Add to it that I was 10 & 1/2 months pregnant, and I was easily the most emotional mom around. I took Davey to my parents house and cried about how horrible of a mother I was for not having a creative costume for him and for putting him in a store bought costume. Gasp! My parents looked at me like I was a nutcase.

I’m not exactly sure why last year was so special or why I felt the need to be different. Maybe it was because I’m a stay at home mom, so I SHOULD be creative and able to make costumes and be original. Really, I just attributed it to the sheer panic of being a mom for the second time, the added hormones, and the fact I was so fat and miserable. Nothing else was perfect in my life. Everything felt so out of control and I needed to exert control somewhere. Of course, it was a catastrophic failure with Davey’s costume, which meant in my eyes, I was a catastrophic failure as a mom.

This year I had to come up with costumes for not one boy, but two, and I didn’t fret about it once. I considered going with a theme especially since I already knew Henry was going to be wearing his brother’s hand-me-down and be a tiger. I thought about making Davey a safari hunter, or a ringmaster at a circus. When I told Davey this, he looked at me as if I were speaking a foreign language.

I looked on Facebook and saw pictures of my friends’ kids and their costumes, some kids having multiple costumes, which I find ridiculous. I oohed and aahed over the handmade costumes, the original ones, and the downright adorable. And then I looked at Davey and asked him what he wanted to be. He said he didn’t know. So, what did I do? I took him to a store. That’s right, my kid wore a store bought costume! For the first time in my career as a mom, I didn’t judge myself, degrade myself, or stress myself about Halloween. I took the easy way out and let Davey pick out his costume. And what did he decide on? Bumblebee from Transformers.

Davey had so much fun. This was the first year he really understood Halloween and I let him go with the flow, just like I did. He trick or treated to about 10 houses before deciding he wanted to come home and pass out candy to the other kids. I think he enjoyed seeing all of their costumes more than he did trick or treating, which was a bit disappointing for me and my husband as we were looking forward to the huge candy stash.

Henry kept his costume on long enough for pictures and then he ran around with the dog. I didn’t take him trick or treating since he really didn’t understand it and didn’t want the costume either. Why take a screaming or unpleasant kid.

For the first time, I’ve taken a step back. It’s not about me or my husband or our friends. It’s not about how we’re perceived by others. It’s not about anything other than our boys and what makes them happy. It was nice to just take a step back this year and truly enjoy Halloween.

Happy Halloween from Henry and Davey
Happy Halloween from Henry and Davey