I’m Sorry, I Love You, Thank You

Those were the three words I said to my parents Wednesday night when they answered the phone.  I’d just spent the better part of my evening experiencing one of the most overwhelming, intimidating, mentally and physically exhausting excursions since giving birth to my two boys.   What did I do?  I went to Toys R Us to buy their presents from Santa.   Yep, my husband and I accomplished it in one fell swoop and if we hadn’t been beaten up so badly, we’d likely have done a jig, followed by a high five.

As with most things I encounter on a day-to-day basis, I find that I was completely oblivious to level of work my parents put into me and my brother.   As a child, I thought they were so mean, self centered, and slave drivers.  Yes, I did think the last thing especially when I had to mow the lawn on the weekends.   With each new day of me raising our boys, I develop a different level of respect for my parents, for their hard work, their resilience, their strength (both mentally and physically), their heart, and their intelligence.   It doesn’t seem to get easier as the boys are growing, just more complicated.

Wednesday, my husband and I walked into the doors of our local Toys R Us.  I stopped for a moment and looked around.  Skylander toys seemed to be yelling down at me from banners.   Queen Elsa and Princess Anna smiled devilishly at me, their backs against each other.  I could hear them laughing at me while saying under their breath, “oh, here’s a new one.   Let’s see what we can put them through.”

There were Paw Patrol toys, FAO Schwartz, Disney, Thomas the Train, Legos, Avengers, Star Wars, Barbies, bikes, balls, pretend clothing, books and games.   There were so many levels and dimensions of each toy and each brand that I slowly felt my anxiety start wrapping around my heart and lungs, constricting my airways and veins.   This experience was going to be the death of me.  I knew it.  I knew it, even though my husband and I had a plan and a list.  I knew it as I was entering the realm of medieval torture.

My husband grabbed a cart and we immediately went to the Paw Patrol toys and Transformers.   Henry loves Paw Patrol.   You name it and he wants it.   Davey is all about his Transformers and Avengers.   He’s a super hero kind of kid (both literally and figuratively).  And of course, we’re smacked with a double whammy, as Henry’s birthday is 12 days before Christmas.  Yes, I know, we planned poorly.

We looked at our watches, determining that we had exactly 45 minutes to accomplish our task and set out to get it done.   This proved to be a bit too ambitious on our part.   45 minutes is ample time to discuss the absolute atrocity of pricing a chintzy plastic toy $56.   45 minutes is not ample time to get presents for our boys.   It was ludicrous on our part.

After completing our purchases, which nearly required two carts, we set out to collect the boys from church and quickly whisk them away to bed.   While my husband separated out our purchases, making sure that we had both boys taken care of, I placed the phone call to my parents, and what my dad told me made me love them both even more.  Not so much for the gift, but for the fact that they were willing to sacrifice for both me and my brother.   What he told me made me proud, and made me want to be as great as the two of them, although I can only hope to be half as good.

In the early 80s, there was a huge toy phenomenon known as Cabbage Patch Kids.   They were everywhere and yet nowhere.   Every child in the country wanted one, but they flew off the shelves faster than a North American X15 Thunderbird.  I was one of those children desperate for a Cabbage Patch Kid.   On the Thursday before Christmas in 1982, my dad cashed his paycheck and then set out to find a doll.   For those of you unaware, Christmas Day was on Saturday of that year, so he admitted he was a bit delusional, but also desperate as he and my mom had spent the better part of 3 months attempting to get one for Christmas.  He told me that he didn’t care what color, shape, size, or gender my Cabbage Patch Kid was, he just knew that he HAD to get one.  It’s the only thing I’d asked for and he couldn’t bear to face his child without one.   He made his way to Service Merchandise and there were two on the shelf.  He grabbed one as another person was grabbing the other.

As he told me this story, especially the part of not being able to face his child without her gift, I started to tear up.   I get it.  I really do.   Every parent wants their child to be happy.   No parent wants to see their child sad.   Until I had children of my own; however, I had no clue how stressful and yet heartbreaking shopping for them can be.

So as he finished his story and I thought back to my experience only hours before, I could only say these words, “I’m sorry.  I love you.  Thank you.”  I’m sure I’ll be repeating these words to my parents for years to come, especially during this time of year.

The Time of Our Lives

Sunday we took a leap of faith.   Sunday we, my husband and I, took our oldest son Davey to his first ever Major League Baseball game.

The New York Yankees made their way down to the hot South to play the Atlanta Braves.    My husband, being the lifelong die hard Yankees fan that he is, was over the moon with excitement from the moment the tickets were given to us, which was approximately three months ago.   It’s unusual for him to get the opportunity to watch the Yankees play on t.v., much less see them live and in person, and three rows behind home plate at that!

We live approximately two hours north of Atlanta, so making the trip isn’t much of an effort, but we still worried about Davey and just how he would be with the trip and the actual game itself.

Saturday found my husband already bounding through the house with the anticipation of the following day’s events.  Any concerns, worries, or doubts he had in the weeks prior about taking Davey had been completely obliterated.   He was going to do something that he’d dreamt about for a while, something he’d envisioned in his head well before we ever had kids.   He was going to take his boy to a New York Yankees game.

Of course, my husband seemed to change roles with me as he debated over just what jersey he should wear to the game.   It was quite humorous for me to see the roles reversed.   Me?  While I have my share of Yankees shirts in my effort to show a level of support for my husband, I am a Braves fan at heart.   Having been born and raised in SC, the Braves were and pretty much still are the closest MLB team around.   I was a fan back in the days of Dale Murphy, even naming one of my Cabbage Kids after the Hall of Famer.   So, there wasn’t much to mull over in regards to what I would wear.   Although I knew that the Braves wouldn’t win, I still wore my Bravos gear!

On our way to see the Yankees and Braves play!
On our way to see the Yankees and Braves play!

I think the fact that we could possibly be seen on national t.v. also encouraged my husband to put much thought into what he would wear.   Unfortunately, Davey doesn’t have too much in the way of Braves paraphernalia.   He’s a true Yankee through and through, Mariano Rivera having been his favorite Yankee.   So, he wore his navy blue Yankees t-shirt and baseball cap.   I promised him, though, that he would at least walk away with a foam tomahawk. I had to get in my colors somehow.

We made it!  A house divided.
We made it! A house divided.

When we arrived at the park, the excitement in Davey’s, and my husband’s, eyes was evident.   We immediately had to have a family picture made, a house divided and exhilarated at what we were embarking upon.    We found our seats, literally three rows behind home plate on the Atlanta Braves side of the plate.   The first batter I was able to see up close and personal was Nick Swisher, a former Yankee, who has now become a Braves.   As a side note, he’s waaayyyy better looking in person.

Hello, Nick!
Hello, Nick!

We were only able to enjoy our seats for a few moments when Davey made his daddy make good on a promise…a big soft pretzel and a Sprite.   Davey had a blast.   He sat between my husband and me, chomping down on his pretzel, flinching when a foul ball would head our way only to be stopped by the netting.   He clapped when his daddy clapped, but he also clapped when I did, eager to pull for either team and please both parents at once.

Gotta love a good pretzel.
Gotta love a good pretzel.

We had a spirited day of dancing between each inning, eating hot dogs and popcorn, cheering for teams, and laughing at the mascots running around on the field.   Davey had ice cream in hat, a novelty which was the greatest thing in the world to him.   He was a mess, but a wonderful mess.

Chocolate ice cream in a baseball cap?  Yes please!
Chocolate ice cream in a baseball cap? Yes please!

He didn’t ask much about the game and as the 8th inning began to wane, so did Davey’s attention which was fine since the game was practically over.  The Yankees had a 20-6 lead.   Highly unlikely my Bravos would mount a comeback, but at one point they did threaten.   When that happened, Davey found that he enjoyed the chanting and the Tomahawk chop with his hand.

Doing the Tomahawk chop!
Doing the Tomahawk chop!

We sang “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”.  Davey pumped his fist into the air to “root, root, root for the home team,” and counted on his fingers to, “one, two, three strikes you’re out at the old ball game.”   I suppose; however, the most entertaining portion of our day was when my mother in law called to tell us we were on t.v. and to wave.   When I told Davey to wave because Grammy sees us, he waved frantically, but also looked all over the ball field for his Grammy, exclaiming, “I don’t see her, mommy.   Are you sure she’s there?”

That's us on t.v.!
That’s us on t.v.!

It was truly the greatest day ever for all of us.   We were sad that Henry wasn’t with us, but also knew that he wouldn’t last as long as Davey and Davey really needed some one on one time without his little brother.   We were very thankful to my parents for keeping him.

What really warmed my heart were the occasions when I caught moments of happiness between father and son.    The moments when Davey would smile at his daddy, which took me back to that morning when Davey asked, “Daddy, are you staying with me all day?”

Family photo op!
Family photo op!

My husband was happier that a blue jay singing in the Spring.   He chuckled at Davey eating his ice cream, put him on his shoulders for the 7th inning stretch, explained who the players were and even tried to get Davey to explain the superiority of American League over National League (a debate my husband and I love to have).   My husband was fulfilling a dream he’d had before he ever became a dad and to say that made me happy is an understatement.

When we climbed into bed Sunday night, my husband said, “That was the best day ever.   I’m so glad we took Davey.   I had so much fun.”

My silly boy after the game!
My silly boy after the game!

As did we all.