When Davey was an infant, it was pretty easy to have quality one on one time with him. Sure, we juggled having quality time with each other, but my husband and I easily found the time for Davey. Adding another little Doser into the fold, makes one on one time with each boy tricky.
Since my husband works 10 plus hours a day, even travelling overnight, it’s become increasingly more difficult for him to find time with each one of his boys. Davey usually got his quality time with daddy in the evenings and at bed time. My husband always bottle fed Davey and would put him to bed every night he was home. There were times I would sit downstairs and listen to my husband talking to Davey and sharing stories with him through the baby monitor. It melted my heart when Davey first started talking and finally said the words, “night night, Daddy. I love you.”
Henry; however, hasn’t gotten the same amount of one on one time with Daddy, but I’m ok with that. My husband? Not so much and he’s working to remedy that. We bottle feed Henry at night just so that we can be sure as to how much food he’s getting, plus I’ve found it’s easier for me to keep him awake when bottle feeding. He sleeps better, which means we all sleep better. Well, for weeks I was responsible for Henry’s bedtime, the complete opposite of how it was with Davey. I told my husband that at this point, Davey realizes a lot more than Henry does and Davey needs his Daddy more than Henry, at least at this point. Davey was and is more aware of when Daddy is and isn’t around. And for those few weeks, I’ve enjoyed my time with Henry.
I would rock him in the rocking chair in his room, with nothing more to light the room than the little night light, and any outside lights that manage to creep through the slits of the blinds. It was and is peaceful in his room and I never really knew how much I was missing when my husband was responsible for Davey’s bedtime every night. I love to stroke Henry’s head, to talk to him about his day, to tell him nursery rhymes, to dream about the future and what he’ll be. Mostly I love telling him stories about my brother, the uncle he’ll never meet. I love watching the shadows on his face and the sucking sound he makes while eating. I love how he tries to hold onto the bottle, how his eyes flutter open, and how he scrunches his toes when he eats. I love how he coos at night while eating and the deep sighs he has when he’s full and has been burped. These are little things I really didn’t get with Davey.
Last week, my husband came up to me and told me that he’s been feeling guilty about the time he spends with Davey and not with Henry. He told me that he wanted to have the same routine that he had with Davey. Of course, he tried to sell it on me by saying that he would take care of both boys at bedtime. Henry goes down at 7:30 and Davey at 8:00. I didn’t need to be sold on it, although I was losing out on something I’d come to cherish and enjoy. It was the right thing to do since I have the boys all day. I conceded, after all how many children out there are growing up without a Daddy? How many children do not have a father who’s willing and eager to spend so much time with them? So, my husband has officially taken over his roll of bedtime Daddy.
I usually bring Davey upstairs shortly before his 8:00 bedtime and put his pajamas on him. Then I enjoy a book or two with him before his Daddy comes in to finish up and tuck him in. I still sneak in to see Henry, to caress his little head at night and kiss him.
I’m thankful and blessed every day to have such wonderful boys in my life and an amazing husband who can’t think of anything happier than spending time with his family. It’s been two months, and we’ve finally hit out groove and routine with both boys. It’s a family life I’ve dreamed about. It’s almost romantic. I can’t think of anything more wonderful or magical than the life God has bestowed upon me. I am lucky and I know it.